Tales of Talbot house, everyman's club in Poperinghe & Ypres, 1915-1918

i

TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

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TALES OF
TALBOT HOUSE

EVERYMAN'S CLUB IN

POPERINGHE & YPRES

1915-1918

BY

P. B. CLAYTON, M.C., F.S.A.

SOMETIME GARRISON CHAPLAIN AT POPERINGHE

' Yborn it was in fer contree
In Flandres, al biyonde the see
At Popering, in the place."

Chaucer's Sir Topas.

LONDON

CHATTO ^ WINDUS

1919

P

•• * • •,

All rights reserved

FOREWORD

BY

THE EARL OF CAVAN, C.B., M.V.O., K.P.

I FIRMLY believe that the greatest secret of
our success in the war was the spirit of help-
fulness. With very few exceptions, I think,
every Commander was anxious to help his
subordinates, and without exception, every
man helped his fellow-man.

The opening of Talbot House, Poperinghe,
was one of the best examples of helpfulness,
for which many thousands have been and
many hundreds are intensely grateful.

This little book tells its own story. I can
only say from experience that Welcome met
me at the door. Happiness lived within, and
the Peace that passeth understanding could
be found by those who sought it in the Upper
Chamber.

CAVAN.

^46716

INTRODUCTION

In writing some words of introduction to this
little book I must point out how misleadingly
Talbot House was named. I did nothing but
get hold of the house, into which, as into a
mud hole, I drove a perfectly round peg— viz.,
the author. I knew that if I could find a
parlour he would prove the most Christian
spider in all the world (though the metaphor
is wrong, for the House was nothing if not a
" liberty hall "). And so it proved. When
we got the house we proposed to call it Church
House. But the staff of our Division saw a
scarecrow in the name and smelt tracts. So
they changed it from Church to Talbot House.
For the rest I might expatiate on Mr. Clayton,
but he would prefer that I did not. It is un-
necessary for me to commend him to those
who know him, and to those who do not I
think the following pages will themselves

vii

viii TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

reflect something of the wit, the laughter, the
friendship and the love which radiated from
his great heart into the wilderness of war round
Ypres and ** Pop." As I claim no credit for
the House, and but gladly attribute it to one to
whom, under God, it is due, I can say that I
think Talbot House was the ideal Church Insti-
tute. Though it was " dry," it suggests a future
for Christian public-houses. It was open to all
the world, was full of friendship, homey ness,
fun, music, games, laughter, books, pictures
and discussion. And at the top, in the loft,
obtruding upon no one, but dominating every-
thing, was the Chapel — a veritable shrine, glow-
ing with the beauty of holiness. Thus above
and below, the House was full of the glory of
God. I predict that thousands will be glad of
this little record as a souvenir of many happy
hours, and that to not a few it will recall a
turning-point in the history of their souls.

Let us one and all think how the spirit of
Talbot House and the things for which it
stood may find expression in Blighty.

NEVILLE S. TALBOT.

CONTENTS

PAGE

Foreword v

By the £arl of Cavan

Introduction vii

By Rev. N. S. Talbot, M.C, late Assistant Chaplain-
General, 5th Army

CHAPTSR

I. A First Glimpse

1

II. Wendy's Crockford

5

III. POPERINGHE IN 1915

8

IV. House-hunting and House-warming

16

V. Early Days

27

VI. Growth in 1916

34

VII. The Staff

46

VIII. The Chapel

66

IX. 1918

94

X. The Innkeeper (by Captain L. F. Browne) 112

X CONTENTS

APPENDICES

PAGE

I, Some Relics of the Notice-Board 126

II. Some Corollaries by Talbotousians 140
A. — Little Talbot House (Dr. Magrath) 142

B. — Colonel Buchanan-Dunlop 145

C— Major H. L. Higgon, M.C. 147

D. — Major Brimley Bowes 150

E. — Lieutenant Nicholson 152

F. — Rifleman Donald Cox 156

III. Talbot House for Trafalgar Square? 159

IV. Some Conundrums from the Roll 166

ILLUSTRATIONS

Talbot House Chapel, 1917 Frontispiece

A sketch by K. Barfield

TO FACB PAGE

The House in Rue de l'Hopital 17

The Garden 35

The Canadian Lounge 51

The Menin Road 76

The Invitation to the Children's Parties 87

Poperinghe from 2,000 feet in May, 1918 106

The Innkeeper 113

Little Talbot House, Ypres 141

Zillebeke during a Strafe 149

XI

TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER I

Somewhere in Stevenson there stands the
fine simile of a shipwrecked sailor, who, telling
his tale far inland, hears again in his soul, as in
a sea-shell, the confused tumult of the great
waters ; whereat his narrative dies away into
silence, for the very vividness of the echo
deafens and defeats him.

So, I suppose, it must be with most personal
recollections of the war, and it is certainly
true of the highly domestic chronicle I am
now set down to write. Here is no conjuror
with words, who can trick you into watching
the brave gaiety of a Flanders town in war-
time, or give you to breathe again the already
twice breathed air of the scarred poplar avenue
that leads to what once was Ypres. If this is
what you seek, you will be well advised to lay

1

^ TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

this little book down at once ; for it contains
merely the memoirs of a parson-publican,
written as a peace offering for those who
have visited his inn. If others there be who
persevere, it will be those who cherish some
letter of the million written therein, that told
perhaps of a meeting with a friend, or of a
Receiving of the Sacrament — which is the same
thing in another sphere. Even within the
Army at the close, the old house became
rather a back number in the back area, and
the Armistice generation had JNIeccas of its
own. Yet their elder brothers cheered the
sign-board

TALBOT HOUSE.

EVERYMAN'S
CLUB.

1915- ?

as they marched down the street, and Second
Lieutenant T. Smithkinson- Browne in 1917
would hark back half shyly to the haunts of
Rifleman Tom Brown of 1916, with the loyalty

A HOME FROM HOME 3

of an old schoolboy revisiting those grey
towers that nursed him in his teens. Divisions
trekking northwards from the Somme were
known to count proximity to Talbot House as
some measure of compensation for a return to
the Salient, for the boredom of the Somme
wilderness was a more fearful thing than fear
itself The Englishman, mainly town-bred,
loves light, noise, warmth, overcrowding, and
wall-paper, however faded. He is of Alexander
Selkirk's opinion concerning solitude, and
John the Baptist in person would not have
attracted him to cross the Somme country out
of curiosity, after he had had to do so once on
business. Our wall-paperdom, therefore, was
half the secret of the drawing power of the
Talbot House. It was a house proper — not
one large bare hall with a counter at one end
and a curtain at the other, but a house, like
home, with doors and windows and carpets
and stairs and many small rooms, none of
them locked ; so that you never knew whom or
what you might find next. Obviously the
place belonged to you in a home-like way,
and relied on your being kind to it in return.
There were pictures in frames, not patriotic

4 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

prints either ; and vases full of cut flowers ;
and easy chairs ; and open fireplaces, with a
tabby cat to teach you how to see what you
wanted most by blinking into the golden glow.
Bother ! who was this coming in ? An officer
of some sort I 1 thought a padre ran the
show. What is this chap ? A Northumber-
land Fusilier captain. Have we got to stand
up ? No ! He says he's been sent round that
floor by the padre to see if the nibs are up
to scratch ! One fellow at the table says
that's just what his is, and indents on the
captain for a new one. Queer place this.
Mem, Must be looked into more closely
to-morrow night. Mem, Wash out that
estaminet crawl. That captain with the nibs
was a bit of a nib himself. Wish he was in
our Batt.

WENDY'S CROCKFORD

CHAPTER II

** Once upon a time," began Wendy.

" That means it never," said Peter caustically.

"Well," replied Wendy coldly, "to be
exact "

In December, 1915, the old Sixth Division,
which had trekked up from Armenti^res in the
end of May and had gone out to a so-called
rest in November, came sadly to the conclusion
that they were in for a winter round Ypres.
The division, however, had a tradition that
compelled them to make the best of a bad
business, and faced the inevitable with that
cheerful grousing over minor points which
in their philosophy obscured the main misery
of the outlook.

While speaking in a black-edged tone, I
had better introduce you to the Church of
England chaplains of the Division at the
time. Neville Talbot, the senior chaplain
C. of E., who had taken over some months
before, was then busy breaking up the con-

6 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

centration camp of chaplains* which had
been bequeathed to him, and in marrying off
the eUgibles into various battalions of their
brigade. The exception was H. R. Bates,
who was retained at the old chaplains' head-
quarters,! to continue his amazing pioneer
work with Church Army Huts. Several of
these he built near the camps, largely with his
own hands ; while forms and tables, stoves
and fuel, canteen stores and games, he juggled
with to such purpose that it seemed as if two
huts a mile apart shared without knowing it
a tea-urn and a table on the same day and on
the same side of it.

Meanwhile, Jimmy Reid was adopted by
the Queen's Westminsters, Hamer by the
Durhams, Wheeler by the York and Lanes.,
and Kinloch-Jones by 71st I.B., while P. B.
Clayton was foisted on to the Buffs and Bed-
fords, the latter being then out of the line and
at rest in Poperinghe.

Even at this stage of the B.E.F., the attach-

* The beloved Chaplain Doudney, of l6th Infantry
Brigade, had been killed at Ypres, November 2, 1915.
Rupert Inglis, who succeeded me in the same brigade, was
killed on the Somme in September, 191 6.

f Where our horses lived in the farm and we in the
stable, to deceive the Boche.

JOCULATORES DEI 7

ment of chaplains to battalions was still a
novelty. At first, all chaplains were attached
to medical units only ; and those who reached
the fighting line were truants from Field
Ambulances. Even when there, their task
was at the outset confounded with that of an
undertaker, and the minister of life was chiefly
called upon for burials. Meanwhile, in
hospitals, his sole obligation beyond this
function was the visiting of those on the daily
D.I.* List. Gradually the outlook widened,
an amelioration due in no small measure to the
example and idealism of Bishop Gwynne,
D.C.G. ; and the Brigade Chaplain made good.
He became at least connected in men's minds
with more cheerful rites, and a trench-going
padre made a church-going battalion. What
nobler definition of his place could there be
than that enshrined in the code of the Senior
Service — "the Chaplain . . . the friend and
adviser of all on board."

^ 5jp "p^ ^f^ ^

" Shall I fetch Crockford ?" said Peter with
a yawn.

" Rude boys go * ^.' " said Wendy.

* Dangerously ill.

8 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER III

PoPERiNGHE, SO the Only guide book that
troubles itself with the little town tells us,
contains some 11,000 inhabitants, and no
features of interest for the visitor. The war
modified the accuracy of both these statements.
The population of the town and its immediate
environs has risen at times to a quarter of a
million, and has fallen to less than fifty. As for
features of interest, the orderly room clerks
could give the evidence of tens of thousands
of passes to the contrary. The name of the
town might as well have been printed in, for
all the correction it was likely to require.

The secret of this was that Poperinghe was
without a rival locally. Alone free for years
among Belgian towns, close enough to the
line to be directly accessible to the principal
sufferers, and not so near as to be positively

POPERINGHE 9

ruinous, it became metropolitan not by merit
but by the logic of locality. In migrant and
mobile times, its narrow and uneven streets
filled and foamed with a tide-race of trans-
port. Year in, year out, by night and by
day, the fighting troops, with all the blunter
forces behind that impel and sustain their
operations, set east and west, with that rhythm
of fluctuation that stationary war induces.
Until the great switch road was opened, and
the railway track was doubled, every man and
every mule (whether on four legs or closely
packed in a blue tin) came up by one pair of
rails or one narrow street.

Moreover, before the camps were built,
troops billeted in the town itself in huge
number, prudently decreased as the thing
called bombing grew in ease and frequency of
performance.

Poperinghe itself consists of a Grande Place
preternaturally broad, and five streets preter-
naturally narrow. You could scarcely shout
across the Square ; you might all but shake
hands across the streets. The only road of
any breadth — the Rue de Boeschepe — came to
a dead end twenty yards from the Square.

10 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

The most vital thoroughfare (as in the Gospels)
was the narrowest ; and the lion in the way,
by no means chained, was an amphibious
civilian train that exhausted its steam by an
incontinent use of its whistle. Under such
provocation nearly every horse became a biped.

We must not forget, in describing the
amenities of the town, the system of half-
sealed streams, which, having lost all sense of
purpose or direction in the dark, devoted their
powerful energies wholly to the cultus of fever
germs and mosquitoes. Out of these pure
sources was pumped the brown bath-water
wherein we wallowed ; and several experts
aver that the resultant fluid was drawn off
into casks and sold as Belgian beer. Other
authorities deny this insinuation hotly, on the
ground that the beer was far the lighter of the
two in texture ; in which case, the confusion
must have arisen through a similarity in taste
alone.

My only previous acquaintance with this
metropolis had been unpropitious. I had
arrived there one rainy autumn night, fresh
from a hospital chaplaincy at Le Treport, and
" never having witnessed any military operation

THE REV. VERDANT GREEN, C.F. 11

more important than the reheving of the
Guard at Whitehall." The dismal train had
crawled cautiously into the much shelled
station at 2 a.m., depositing me with a plethora
of luggage at the R.T.O.'s office. Leaving my
baggage there in a hideous heap, and disdain-
ing offers of assistance, I had started to walk, as
I thought, into Poperinghe with a hazy notion
of finding some hotel. Outside, the night was
inky overhead and the road deep in mire.
Following the crowd of foot-passengers back
from leave, I had turned in the wrong direction
and stepped out along the famous pave cause-
way* that leads to Vlamertinghe and Ypres.
After half an hour's splashing, I began to think
the town a myth, and upon confiding my
doubts to two men in front was much humbled
to discover (1) that I w^as walking away from
Poperinghe, (2) that there were no hotels
anywhere, (3) that I had better go back, and
ask R.T.O. to take great care of me till called
for. This I sadly did, and the R.T.O., a most
kindly man (how is it that occasional 5*9's so
stimulate the lacteal duct of human kindness ?),

* This was before the grand old navvies of the 4th
Labour Battalion rebuilt the road.

12 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

telephoned to such good purpose that before
daybreak some London Field Company folk
arrived with a mess-cart and removed me^to
the Chaplains' Camp.

My chief memory of the R.T.O.'s office
during the waiting was the odd sight of a
boy with a military medal marched in as a
prisoner under escort for return to England,
having so falsified his age that he had enlisted
at sixteen, and had been fighting for six
months ; which misdemeanour, as the younger
Mr. Pepys says, " was very strange."

When I returned to Poperinghe, and joined
the Bedfords, the town was in a typically 1915
condition. There was a canteen in the Square,
run by a splendid Wesleyan chaplain, but
beyond this nothing but refugee shops, bright
behind their rabbit- wire windows, with their
eternal display of " real Ypres lace," untrust-
worthy souvenirs, and still more untrustworthy
wrist- watches. Of course there were estaminets
everywhere, good, bad, and of all inter-
mediate complexions. The " Fancies," a great
divisional show, justly celebrated for Fred
Chandler's tenor voice, Dick Home's "Ro-
gerum" (a coon-song version of the Parable

THE PROBLEM OF "POP" 18

of Dives and Lazarus, with a magnificently
onomatopoeic chorus, which lifted the Sixth
Division along over many miles of mud), and
two Belgian ladies known respectively as
Lanoline and Vaseline,* who could neither
sing nor dance, but at least added a touch
of femininity, provided the sole real recreation
for officers and men. They lent us their hall
on Sunday nights, where, in front of a drop
scene painfully reminiscent of the Canal bank
in November, Neville preached the Gospel of
Faith and Freedom.

The town at the time was intermittently
shelled, but "nothing to write home about."
Some very heavy "stuff" had come in during
the early summer, when the fashionable area
of the town was in consequence continually
changing. One large shell had utterly de-
molished the original English Church house,
near the Square, and a brace had landed in
the orchard at the back of what was afterwards
Talbot House. One of these immigrants had
created a pond, in which its brother, a dud,
was committed to rest in a frivolous funeral.

* Subsequently there was added, I think, a third artiste,
known as " Chlorine," and a fourth called " Glycerine."

14 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

The wealthier civil population had moved into
France, and the remainder, chiefly refugees,
were busily engaged in amassing wealth under
circumstances adverse to the prosperity of their
insurance companies. One combined pastry-
cook and brewery concern was said to have
made £5,000 clear profit during four months.

Two of the four chief restaurants were
already in full swing, the best, cheapest, and
oldest, being that in the Rue de Boeschepe.*
Very much second came A La Grande Poupee,
behind a shop in the Square, where the thirteen-
year-old schoolgirl ''Ginger " had already estab-
lished her fame. Any defects in the cuisine or
in the quality of the champagne were more
than compensated by the honour of being
chosen as her partner in the exhibition dance
which she gave with the utmost decorum as the
evening drew on. Skindle's was not yet in
being, so far as I can remember, nor the ill-
fated Cyril's.

It was an odd, but not an evil, atmosphere
which prevailed in Pop. Every week some
shells landed somewhere, and some lives were

* The British Officers' Hostel, the proprietress being
Madame Camille Laconte Devos.

THE PROBLEM OF "POP" 15

lost; but the spirit of lightheartedness was
never quenched, nor was there, on the other
side, any outbreak of vice behind the gaiety.
In spite of the gigantic accumulation of
troops, rape was almost unknown, and seduc-
tion extremely rare — to the amazement, I
believe, of the Belgian authorities. War was
still a sporting event, and "living dangerously"
was salutary, as Nietzsche taught. The ethics
of home were not blurred by long absence, and
the Russian " steamroller" was not yet ditched.
No prospect pleased, but man was perfectly
glorious.

16 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER IV

It was plain that it was up to the chaplains
to open a place of their own, an institutional
church, to provide happiness for the men, and
also, if possible, a hostel for officers going on
leave. This trouble, like all our troubles, was
taken to Colonel, now General, R. S. May,
then " Q " of the 6th Division. Aided whole-
heartedly by him, we approached the Town
Major, who introduced us to M. Coevoet
Camerlynck, a wealthy brewer of the town,
who in turn led us to his great empty mansion,
the back part of which previously had been
struck by a shrapnel shell from the Pilkem
Ridge direction. We accepted this tenancy
joyftiUy at a rent which was subsequently
fixed at 150 francs a month, undertaking as
the conditions of our lease (1) to make the
house weather-proof, and (2) to remove from

o a

X

o

iter/'- ^ -^

DISCOVERY OF THE HOUSE 17

the small front-room a large safe, which,
on account of its immobility, had remained
when all the other furniture had been taken
away.

Strong in the consciousness of the British
Army at our backs, we made no bones about
the conditions, but took over the house forth-
with. Bowing the owner out, we started on
our inspection of the premises. The large
entrance hall was flanked on the left by a
highly decorative drawing-room with a dingy
dining-room beyond, and on the right by a
small office, the staircase, and the kitchen.
The conservatory beyond lay sideways along
the whole breadth of the house at the back.
It was in a bad plight, for the shrapnel had
gashed its leaden roof and brought down the-
plaster ceiling in a melancholy ruin upon its
tiled floor. The plate-glass was broken in all
the windows, and the rain came in freely both
sideways and from above. However, it's an ill
shell that blows no one any good, and this
had blown us a house which would otherwise
have been occupied as a billet. Upstairs, on
the first floor, reached by an elegant painted
staircase in white and gold, was the landing,

18 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

four bedrooms, and a dressing-room; on the
second floor, a large landing, one huge nursery,
and three small bedrooms ; above this, reached
by a difficult companion-ladder, a great hop-
loft covering the whole area of the house. One
corner of this attic and the bedroom below it
had been knocked out by a shell.

We then descended to consider our other
liability. The safe was in the little fronL office,
and presented the appearance of a large brown
painted cupboard against the wall. Neville
gave it a friendly push, with no result what-
ever. My assistance made not the slightest
difference. I stepped round the corner for
the Bedfords. About sixteen of them came
in an S.O.S. spirit. As many as could do so
got near the safe and pushed perspiringly.
The faintest sign of motion was now visible.
Determined to see the matter through at once,
lest it should breed in us some craven super-
stition, we suborned certain transport folk to
send round their heaviest waggon and a team
of mules. Meanwhile we got ropes round the
safe, and some logs, as for launching a lifeboat.
With sixteen men on the rope the safe fell
forward on the rollers with a crash comparable

DISCOVERY OF THE HOUSE 19

only with the coup de grace the AustraUan
tunnellers gave to Hill 60. Crowds gathered
in the narrow street, and the waggon and mules
made heavy weather of backing into the
entrance of the house. Meanwhile we piloted
the safe into the hall. The mules were taken
out and led away that they might not see
what they were doomed to draw. The back
of the waggon was let down, the stoutest
planks were laid leading up to it, and the
drag-ropes were handed freely to all passers-
by. Vaguely it was felt by all who had no
precise knowledge of the situation that a
successful tug would in some way shorten
the war, and the traffic, now completely
blocked, added those homely criticisms for
which the British driver is justly notable.
Even the safe felt moved in its rocky heart,
and, surrendering to the impulse of a hundred
hands, found itself installed in the waggon.
It was no time for hesitancy now. Pressing
ten francs into the hands of the muleteers, we
told them the desired destination and saw
them and the safe no more.

Next day, about December 10, a party of
male housemaids from the Bedfords put the

20 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

inner house in order, while the London R.E.'s
repaired the outer wall and roof.

In the garden we found a carpenter's bench,
which was set aside at once as our altar for
the worship of the Carpenter, and carried up
to the first chapel, which was the big landing
on the second floor. This was our altar
always, whence tens of thousands have received
the Sacrament, many making their first Com-
munion, and not a few their last.

A table-top was also forthcoming from the
garden, apparently the floor-boards, in two
sections, of a small tent. These on some
solid legs with a wallpaper covering made
our first piece of domestic furniture, and
lasted all our time. Then Harold Bates
arrived, and casting his business eye upon the
premises, made a list of necessaries, and
supplied them without more ado. We bor-
rowed a small staff from the 17th Field
Ambulance, and on December 15 the House
opened.

^Esthetes of a later generation would
have smiled superciliously at our primitive
efforts at furniture and decoration, but they
served their turn well, and it was not a

OUR HOUSE WARMING 21

time when much was expected. Tables and
chairs and forms were readily if roughly made.
Cups and saucers and a few household utensils
could still be bought in Poperinghe in a half-
ruined shop opposite, where a Belgian boy
named Gerard and his mother and sister
carried on their business, though the staircase
and most of the first floor had succumbed to a
shell. Climbing one day on to what was left
of the second floor, I found and purchased
for three francs a crucifix, the figure (as often
locally) of white clay, with a hand splintered
by a fragment of the shell. This went to the
Chapel, and looks down in the post-card
picture from the loft.

On the following Sunday night we led the
congregation from the " Fancies " round to
the new House. Fortified by an " agape " of
cocoa in four cracked cups, three basins, and
some jam-tins, we toured the House, and the
bold imagination of the conductor won sym-
pathy and assistance beyond his expectations.
It was a bad, wet night, and a quiet figure in a
Burberry went unnoticed, until pressed to
stay to supper. The Burberry removed. Major
Edmond Street of the Sherwoods, a Loos

22 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

D.S.O., and one of the most gallant Christian
gentlemen a man could meet, began his friend-
ship for the House, which continued until his
death on the Somme. Colonel Buchanan-
Dunlop of the Leicesters, who organised the
carol-singing to the Boche on the first Christmas
Day, and Major Philbey of the York and Lanes,
were also great quiet helpers of the infant
House ; but for the most part we had not many
mighty nor many noble. It was on the simple
loyalty of the ordinary officers and men alike
that the House was proud to lean.

Wait a moment. On that same Sunday
night we petitioned the congregation for a
piano, and as they passed out an unknown
gunner major volunteered the remark : "Padre,
if you want a piano, Lieutenant Robinson of the
47th Battery has three at least. Try and
scrounge one oiF him." Making a mental note,
on pre-Pelmanistic principles, of name and
number, I proceeded on the next day to attempt
to get in touch through Signals. I also incited
Kinloch- Jones, chaplain of the 71st Brigade, to
try his luck as well, two wires being better than
one ; with a result that on Tuesday night a reply
came through to him saying, " Meet me at

HOW TO SCROUNGE A PIANO 23

41st I.B.H.Q., 11.30 a.m., Wednesday." We
had not dared to mention a piano in our wire,
so that our victim was plainly unaware of the
purpose of our approach. Now 41st I.B.H.Q.
were on a part of the Canal Bank, outside our
divisional area, and Kinloch was going up the
line elsewhere that day. Armed, therefore,
only with the wire to him, and omitting the
pass then recently necessary, I went up alone
to the Canal Bank next morning in search of
one at least of the three pianos. At that time,
be it understood, pianos were lightly come by,
for Ypres was still standing, and the Ramparts
rang with the internal discord of thirty or so
played capriciously, each louder than the last,
so that the request was not so preposterous as
it would be now, when ownership is again a
commercial conception. Reaching the Canal
Bank I found the headquarters concerned, and
made bold to enter the mess. Here at first I
was made welcome, but on disclosing my
business was met with a request for a pass.
The fact, also, that I had no batman with me
told against me, this being a double infringe-
ment of orders, which were at that time in the
rigidity of recency. Producing my pink wire,

24 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

I handed it across thoughtlessly, forgetting it
was addressed to Kinloch-Jones. The re-
assurance which this flimsy credential should
have brought was more than counterbalanced
by my obvious confusion when addressed as
" Mr. Kinloch-Jones." Moral weakling that
I was, I felt this further explanation would
undo me wholly. The total result was that
when 1 suggested telephoning to the still
absent Robinson, the Brigade Major signifi-
cantly detailed a subaltern to look after me.
Here again the atmosphere is lost to the Army
of to-day ; but then spies were far from
mythical. Of that era are the two stories, one
of the soi-disant officer who always replied,
when challenged, ** Major Black, 49th Battery."
He was so important a person that, when
finally caught, he was sent down to Corps
Headquarters in a car. Secondly, there was
the picturesque legend of the spy so well con-
cealed in Ypres that he blew a bugle nightly
with impunity as the head of the transport
column reached Suicide Corner. As for the
stationmaster of Poperinghe, was he not shot
a hundred times ? Behold me, therefore,
struggling in the Signals dug-out to get in

A STAR-CHAMBER MATTER 25

touch with my errant and overdue assignee.
Communication between an infantry brigade
and a battery was always difficult, but at last
we learned that Lieutenant Robinson had left
an hour back to keep his appointment, but as
there had been some shelling had probably
walked by byways. In point of fact, he was
at that very moment reaching the dead end of
the Canal, whence he came down towards the
rendezvous, bleating for a padre as he came.
Now it happened that Jimmy Reid and his
AVestminsters lay thereabouts. To him, there-
fore, Robinson was led, Jimmy appearing (as
he afterwards said) in no very Christian frame
of mind after a punishing night up yonder,
and saying beneath his breath : ** Bother,
another funeral." Relieved humanely and
professionally to find it was not so, he accom-
panied Robinson on his search, and when I
heard his voice, 1 leapt out only to be greeted
by my proper name. At this point the
subaltern, my guardian, intervened with,
" Excuse me, not Clayton, but Kinloch-Jones,
I think," whereat we left him thinking. To
cut the story short, Robinson gave me not one
piano, but two, and I handed one over to

26 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Bates for a hut at Peselhoek — the worst one,
of course. The best was very good indeed,
and even in its old age, after three years of
constant strumming, retained its tone. More-
over, it had learnt things. If you so much as
sat down before it in 1918, it played " A little
grey home in the West" without further
action on your part.

•jn«5 5X

EARLY DAYS 27

CHAPTER V

" Give me the luxuries of life, and I care
not who has the necessities," was the motto of
the young House. We had a piano, but no
dishcloths, to the great scandal of a visiting
A.D.M.S. But by degrees we accumulated
even these. A lady bountiful in Scotland sent
us crates of furniture without number, and
provisions without price. It is hard to re-
member the days when dainty food came
pouring out from home. A lady in Bristol
(with whose gardener I was fortunate enough to
strike up a friendship in hospital) showered
other good and useful things upon us. A
third in Brighton, and a fourth at Teddington,
found us in books and pictures. Curtains and
tablecloths, pots and pans, even waste-paper
baskets and clocks and flower-vases arrived in
illogical sequence. On the first night (Decem-
ber 15) I find by the visitors' book that one

28 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

officer* going on leave, stayed with us and
from then onwards the doors were open day
and night. Men swarmed about the place
from ten a.m. to eight p.m., and officers flowed
in from seven p.m. till the leave trains
came and went. From each officer we de-
manded five francs for board and lodging, on
the Robin Hood principle of taking from the
rich to give to the poor. For this sum the
officers secured on arrival from the leave train
at one a.m. cocoa and Oliver biscuits, or before
departure at five a.m. a cold meat breakfast.
The bedrooms were communal, save for the
dressing-room, which we turned ambitiously
into the " General's bedroom," on account of
a bed with real sheets. For the rest, stretcher
beds and blankets provided more facilities for
sleep than a leave-goer required, or than a
returning officer expected. Those were the
days of simplicity ; and I can see now officers
waiting semi -somnolently in chairs until their
luckier brethren got up for breakfast and the
leave train, to play Box to their Cox, so that
Rev. Mrs. Bouncer had a grateful though

* Curiously enough a namesake — Lieutenant Clayton
of the West Yorks,

EARLY DAYS 29

a sleepless task. The House was always what
the Canadians called a *' soft drink " establish-
ment, but no one resented this, lapping up tea
or cocoa or Bovril with thanksgiving. True,
they were mostly infantry officers, who had
learned such thankfulness in a rough school.
One noticed, moreover, the meticulous care
with which the old officer looked after the
needs of his servant and his horse before his
own. At no period of the war, I suppose,
were the officers of any army up to our standard
early in '16, when the flower of our amateurs
stood side by side with those regulars who had
survived both the hazards of war and the
temptations of tabs. The fact that the House
was, financially considered, a gift from the
officers to the men was characteristic of the
unity of spirit which possessed them both.

By a fortunate coincidence, no sooner was
the House established than it became
customary for one company of the Queen's
Westminsters to be billeted in rotation next
door. The alliance thus formed was never
wholly lost. The class upon which that
great regiment chiefly drew is that of the
suburban type, partly public school and partly

30 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

the bank clerk world ; and however great the
alienation from the Church elsewhere, it was
not so with these. Critics truly of the Donald
Hankey school, philosophers who found
churchmanship too shallow, and athletes who
found it too deep, were plentiful among them ;
but with a great number, startled by their
terrible experiences out of a superficial apathy,
religion, and especially sacramental religion,
stood as a need confessed. There must have
been quite 200 Communicants in the battalion
at this time, and in the case of the 1st L.R.B.'s,
who were in Poperinghe that Christmas, over
500 made their Christmas Communion. The
Westminsters really adopted the House as
their own, producing debates and concerts
with astounding facility. Their machine-
gunners (who at that time were only specialists
within the battalion) were the prime movers
in the transformation of the big hop-loft into
the Chapel, being quick to grasp its artistic
possibilities. I can see them now fixing the
great red hangings which the Bishop of
Winchester had sent us from the old private
Chapel at South wark. This accomplished, our
altar was removed upwards, and around it

THE QUEEN'S WESTMINSTERS 31

gradually gathered many memorial gifts of
exquisite taste, and many still more sacred
associations. It was a signaller of the West-
minsters, now an officer on the Army Staff,
who first sketched the Chapel. This sketch 1
sent home to my friend Mr. E. W. Charlton,
R.E., who made from it the etching"^ that has
often been produced without acknowledgment
in illustrated papers under such absurd titles
as " a Chapel in the front line trenches."

On December 19, four days after the House
was opened, the company of the Westminsters
which had just gone up into the support at
Potizje, having had their Christmas party,
and crackers to boot, in Talbot House the
day before, met a crisis characteristically.
That night a gas attack and a heavy bombard-
ment broke suddenly on our local lines.
Things looked quite dirty, and a message got
through to the company in support to hold
not only their support line but the Potizje
Road itself. For the latter task seven men
were all that could be spared. Five of these
crouched on the road itself, with one in the

* Unfortunately, owing to its size, this cannot be
reproduced here.

32 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

ditch each side. Beyond their rifles they had
one machine-gun, which they trained to sweep
the road. They wore stuffy P.H. helmets
with good cause, for that night the gas cloud
travelled further back than Vlamertinghe.
Here comes the inimitable Westminster touch.
They wore on the top of their masks their
paper caps out of the Christmas crackers, and
one rifleman insisted on brandishing a toy
water-pistol, which he was at pains to fill at an
adjacent shell-hole. This I heard at 2 a.m. on
the 23rd, when a company that had been
badly cut up came down to rest next door,
waking the sleeping street with their indomit-
able *' Rogerum."

I have not yet explained the House's
name. It was Colonel May's doing entirely,
and nothing delighted me more than to find
that Neville also was a man under authority.
We had, after many wild suggestions,
agreed on some tame and non-committal title,
and having contrived six feet of stretched
canvas, were busy on the first letter of
" Church House," when Colonel May arrived
and announced that the House should be
closed there and then if we did not call it

" TALBOT . . . REMEMBERED " 33

Talbot House. Despite Neville's protests, the
name was fixed forthwith. It had about it the
homely flavour of a village inn, and for its
deeper note there was the thought of the
commemoration of Gilbert Talbot, whose
grave in Sanctuary Wood held the body of
one who would have been to English public
life what Rupert Brooke began to be to
English letters.

34 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER VI

During the spring and early summer of 1916
the young House throve greatly. The old
division at last went out, after keeping the
flag flying in the salient for a whole year on
end, and trained intensively for the Somme.
Just before they w^ent, on April 19, the
Bedfords had a company blown to bits on the
northern sector, and K. S.L.I, had to re-estab-
lish the so-called line. It was in the counter-
attack that my old school - fellow, Alec
Johnston, was killed, whose articles " from
the front " in Punch helped thousands to laugh
when else they would have cried. The night
before he had come into Talbot House with a
half humorous solemnity.

That was always one of the strange realities
of life at the House : you never knew whom
you would see again, Harold Bates left the
door one Sunday morning, and had his leg
shattered when just across the Square.

i.

Ki.. '

■ "-■-%

WK' --^.ii^|fe,3^

^'4

^^^^H^H^^^^H^' ^ iU '3 L . Bl

J

-■-a:^

.*^

1

1 ■-■■-^.^^ -;-l t

GROWTH IN 1916 35

Major Street arrived to go on leave with ten
inches off his walking-stick, and his two
brother officers wounded by the same shell
as they were walking down through Vlamer-
tinghe. In the early summer, boastful of the
beauty of the garden, we put up a notice
saying: "Come into the garden and forget
about the war," and almost the first accept-
ance of the invitation was intimated by arrival
of a 5*9 which blew sideways into the House,
mortally wounding a Canadian who had come
in with his brother to write a joint letter
home. In point of fact, this was the only
fatal casualty within the House. During the
varying fortunes of the salient shells have
crossed and recrossed the roof from three
points of the compass at least. Bombs have
landed in the garden, in the street, in the
Magazin next door. One bright afternoon
in the summer of 1917, when there were close
on 700 men in the House and garden, a big
naval shell blew the house next door into a
cocked hat, but only sHghtly wounded one man
on our veranda. I do not comment on this,
but I have heard older soldiers than I ever
want to be say what they thought about it.

36 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

It is not to be supposed, however, that
shelling was a daily affair. Until the Somme
battle began the town got something once a
week on an average. During the " third battle
of Ypres " it was bad enough to be closed to
troops for four days. During 1917 the pressure
on it was greatly relieved. Of more recent
days I may speak later.

But so far as possible, the House took no
interest in the war. On its walls were great
maps, not of the front, but of England,
Canada, and Australia. On the great map of
England, London and Liverpool are worn
away by much digital discovery, and a scientific
spy could tell the territorial locality of the
successive divisions by the superimposition
of the finger-prints. In all things so far as
possible the House maintained a civilian
standpoint, not out of any disloyalty to the
Cause, or to the distinguished soldiers who
made the House possible, but because its
whole ?aison d'etre was always to be an
Emmaus Inn, a home from home where
friendships could be consecrated, and sad hearts
renewed and cheered, a place of light and joy
and brotherhood and peace. The discipline of

USES OF ADVERTISEMENT 37

the House was therefore not enforced by
Army orders, but by light-hearted little
notions, that arrested the reader's attention
and won his willingness on the right side, e.g. :

"IF YOU ARE IN THE HABIT

OF SPITTING

ON THE CARPET AT HOME,

PLEASE SPIT HERE."

The waste-paper baskets are purely ornamental.

" By Order."

'^ This is a library, not a dormitory."

"No AMY ROBSART stunts down these stairs."

TO PESSIMISTS, WAY OUT tm

or by use of the old advertising dodge of
mis-spelling :

" Down these stairs in Signal phial."

"No swaring aloud hear."

or to keep the billiard cloth from being cut
more than essential to enjoyment :

" The good player chalks his cue before he plays ;
The bad player afterwards."

38 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Over the door of the chaplain's room was
a legend, invented by a beloved physician who
for more than a year was treasurer of the
House. This scroll ran : " All Rank aban-
don Ye Who enter Here." Under its
aegis unusual meetings lost their awkwardness.
I remember, for instance, one afternoon on
which the tea-party (there generally was one)
comprised a General, a staff captain, a second
lieutenant, and a Canadian private. After
all, why not ? They had all knelt together
that morning in the Presence. " Not here,
lad, not here," whispered a great G.O.C. at
Aldershot to a man who stood aside to let
him go first to the Communion rails ; and to
lose that spirit would not have helped to win
the war, but would make it less worth winning.
There was, moreover, always a percentage of
temporary officers who had friends not com-
missioned whom they longed to meet. The
padre's meretricious pips seemed in such cases
to provide an excellent chaperonage. Yet
further, who knows what may not be behind
the private's uniform ? I mind me of another
afternoon when a St. John's undergraduate, for
duration a wireless operator with artillery, sat

PRIVATE COPHETUA 39

chatting away. A knock, and the door opened
timidly to admit a middle-aged R.F.A. driver,
who looked chiefly like one in search of a five-
franc loan. I asked (I hope courteously) what
he wanted, whereupon he replied : '' I could
only find a small Cambridge manual on palaeo-
lithic man in the library. Have you anything
less elementary ?" I glanced sideways at the
wireless boy and saw that my astonishment was
nothing to his. "Excuse me, sir," he broke
in, addressing the driver, " but surely I used

to come to your lectures at College."

" Possibly," replied the driver, " but mules
are my speciality now."

This play-acting was of course to be expected
when the H.A.C. and the Artists were in the
neighbourhood, but there is scarcely a unit
that has not cases of it to smile at. A battery
was sent to the House one day to borrow
some prayer-books of sorts. I asked whether
they wanted to borrow a padre of sorts as
"well. A chit from the adjutant came back:
"No, thanks all the same. The Rev. and

Hon. Bombardier L always takes our

services for us." As this is not yet another
book on Christianity in the Army, the com-

40 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

batant priesthood cannot be here discussed,
beyond stating (1) that the soldiers' sentiment
seems strongly against it — e.g,^ a debate in
which only two padres and two men voted for
it, and 200 against it. This may be mere
sentiment, but it is true. (2) None the less,
a combatant diaconate conferred on active
service would be, in the writer's belief, a really
prized position, and one invaluable as an
adjunct to the work of the brigade padre.
But the Church will never experiment until
its heart is set at liberty.

In point of mere financial standing, the
number of men in the ranks who own cheque-
books that do not run dry as quickly as Cox's
is a continual source of amusement. Talbot
House has, for instance, received quite £50 in
donations from one R.A.M.C. sergeant; and
another who took a leading part in our debates
took a triple first at Oxford in his time.

This mention of debates leads on to a word
or two about those that used to be held at
Talbot House, and, knowing as I do the
suspicion with which they are regarded in
some quarters, I affirm the more gladly that
if rightly shepherded, they are far from being

VIA MEDIA 41

subversive of discipline. The Englishman at
least is innately conservative, and the acme of
progress in his thought is the steam-roller
which has slowly reached the further edge of
a new layer of flints on a road, and then
proceeds majestically backwards. Given a
couple of men with a red and green flag, and
a horse that has to be led past on its hind -legs,
and his vision of Reconstruction is complete.
Extremists of course there are, but the very
fact of freedom of speech robs them of the
atmosphere of martyrdom which they love to
breathe ; and the playful badinage with which
the robust common sense of the majority
meets their propositions tends to tarnish their
denunciations. After much experience, I am
profoundly convinced that if put in possession
of the real facts, a British jury more nearly
approaches infallibility than any College of
Cardinals. The only trouble is that their
standard of general education is so low. Put
the product of the old elementary school side
by side with the men from overseas, and his
mental equipment is pitiful. He is perhaps
most conscious of this himself, and a sense of
ignorance is far more widespread than a sense

42 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

of sin. The overseas man with his freedom
from tradition, his wide outlook on Hfe, his
intolerance of vested interests, and his contempt
for distinction based on birth rather than
worth, has stirred in the minds of many a
comparison between the son of the bondwoman
and the son of the free.

But the sense of justice is deep-rooted in
them both, and hardships only deepen the
comradeship between those who are mutually
affected by them. In really grim situations, if
shared in common, it is part of their code to
grouse only about the trivial inconveniences,
and to remain dumb as to the horrors. But
glaring inequalities of distribution, whether of
safety, leave, or pay out here, or of wealth in
secular or ecclesiastical life at home, provoke
them to a sustained indignation ; and the fact
that within its own household the Church fails
in equity as conspicuously as the State is a
running sore to the consciences not only of
many keen Churchmen, but also of many
bystanders as well. The Englishman with
a grievance makes a volcano out of a molehill.

Debates had rigidly to eschew all Army
topics— except that there was always a hardy

QUOUSQUE TANDEM 43

annual on the progress of the war. The voting
on this was generally more instructive than the
speeches, so I tabulate the results as follows :

January, 1916. That this House is decidedly convinced that
the war will be over this year. Carried by
150 to 8.

„ 1917. That this House is firmly convinced that
the war will be over this year. Carried by
200 to 15.

„ 191 8. That this House is profoundly convinced*
that the war will be over this year.
80 to 80. Carried by casting vote.

which record provides the philosopher with
one more instance of the futility of prophecy,
though it must be remembered that the voting
was more an indication of morale than of
reasoning faculties. In 1916, all the speaking
practically was against the motion. It was
listened to with amused toleration, but when
it came to voting, the silent optimists stam-
peded the House.

* Compare Mr. Ronald Knox's mot concerning the
current ecclesiastical synonyms for " I think " — (1) The
Curate, "Men, I kiwTv." (2) The Bishop, "Weareprofoundly
convinced.^' (3) The poor old Vicar, *' One does feel somehow,
doesn't one ?"

44 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

More serious debates were concerned with
the Economic Position of Women, whereat
there was no trace of sex hostility, the
NationaUsation of Railways, the Drink Prob-
lem, the Ethics of ** Scrounging,"* Ireland,
Federation, etc. A debate most interesting,
both in its matter and its spirit, was on the
Colour Problem in the Empire, at which two
British West Indian sergeants made excellent
speeches in English to an audience largely
composed of Ausies and Canadians. Beyond
the formal debates, the House ran in 1916 and
1917 a series of lectures on Town Planning,
the Housing Problem, Back to the Land, etc.,
when officers with professional knowledge of
the questions received the keenest and closest
appreciation. Such enterprises, again, have
their pitfalls, and I remember my qualms at
one of these meetings when a man I knew to
be bitter got up in question-time. He said,
however: "I like the Army even less than
most of you here " (awkward pause), " but I
can't go away to-night without telling the

* A word of unknown origin, commonly in use among
regular divisions, for which Territorials employ *' winning "
or " making " as a synonym.

CLASPED HANDS 45

officer that it has made all the difference in
my outlook from henceforth to see he is ready
to come here at the end of his day's work and
put in an hour or so helping us to under-
stand rightly things we have so much at
heart." ,:'oi

This, by the grace of God, is an earnest of
the spirit of unity that the Army is bringing
home with them, and I was not less delighted
to find the obverse of it in a Hampshire village
I know well, where dwells in his old age a
staff colonel of the old school. He had, last
time I saw him, been reading Gerard's great
book on Germany. This had been subsequently
lent to the blacksmith, who, while politically
pestilent in the colonel's eyes, has redeeming
features as a village cricketer. The upshot
of the loan was not one but a series of con-
fabulations, which resulted in the verdict:
*'A damned socialist he is, padre, but upon
my word there's sense in some things he says."

So the great need of England — a unifying
principle based on a mutual appreciation — is
less far from attainment than it was before
the war.

46 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER VII

THE STAFF

The heading of this chapter sounds an
ominous one ; but the word is here used in its
civiHan, not its military, significance, and my
purpose is to give a ghmpse of the various
crews and complements who signed on and
off the House. Only one besides myself has
been with the House from the beginning, and
I reserve what I dare say of him to the end
of this chapter.

At first the House was excellently staffed
by an N.C.O. and four men of 17th Field
Ambulance, but after four months these were
withdrawn to their units and replaced by
Guardsmen under Sergeant Godley of the
Coldstreamers. Some humourist on G.H.Q.
had arranged at the time — April, 1916 — that
the Guards and the Canadians should occupy
the town together, and the result was as instruc-

EXTREMES MEET 47

tive as it was amusing. In the Guards' area, to
a civilian encountering them for the first time,
the first feeUng was one of dismay. N.C.O.'s
and privates were unable to share the same
rooms, and when one returned from shopping
in their quarter of the town, the problem of
returning salutes while leading home a primus
stove, however lawfully purchased, was harass-
ing to the last degree. Ultimately I became
so nervous of these ordeals that I walked only
by night in the Guards' area, and then said
"Friend" hurriedly in the dark to the buttresses
of the church. In the Canadian area there was
no such shyness, though in their later days
saluting became, I believe, quite in vogue with
them as well. It was a liberal education as
well as a privilege to walk the Rue de Boeschepe
in company with Canon Scott, though his
extraordinary popularity made progress slow.
"Well, I'll be damned! it's Scott," an old
friend greeted him with. " Sure, and I hope
you'll be no such thing, Jim. I don't know
what the Government pays me this enormous
salary for if you are," replied the canon. One
April day a popular Canadian major burst in
upon " a bunch of boys " in their billet with :

48 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

" Boys ! get a move on ; the Guards are
drilling in the Square. It's a sight worth
coming over the water to see." A few minutes
later, in the midst of a happy crowd smoking
and laughing, he stood and pointed out the
most salient features of that majestic spectacle.
I can yet see that hving study in contrasts, and
thank God that the Empire is wide enough to
hold them both together. Yet the Guards
were not only admirable — they were actually
lovable. In no division that ever came our
way was there so strong a family feeling.
There was rivalry, but it was a rivalry towards
a common ideal. There was hard and minute
discipline, but the task was hard before them.
The officers would do anything for their men,
and the adjutant knew them and their home
circumstances sometimes to the third genera-
tion. Even the R.S.M. would unbend enough
to ask of a man returning from leave when Jim
would be ripe for Caterham, and how the old
man was doing. Of surviving Guardees who
were true Talbotousians I cannot speak freely,
but one of our best friends was Lieutenant
Guy Dawkins, of 2nd Scots Guards, who had
taken his commission thither from the London

UP GUARDS 49

Scottish. A critic of men better qualified
would have been hard to find, for his reputa-
tion stood high before the war in the L.A.C.,
and he was so deeply possessed by the fighting
spirit that he died more of disappointment
than of his wound early in the Somme offensive.
It was he who discovered to me the fact so
hard for the civilian mind to grasp — that in
the very fixity of the gulf between each grade
of command lay the scope for an intimacy and
mutual understanding impossible otherwise.
Elsewhere the younger officer might feel that
too much solicitude for his men might preju-
dice his caste ; but here, where he was
almost of another clay, he could, and indeed
must, take their comfort and welfare as his
supreme concern.

Of the many conquests of the Guards in
this war, none was more complete than that
of Talbot House. We dreaded their arrival,
but longed for their return. The House was
never so musical as when Quarter- Master-
Sergeant Reynolds brought in his glee-party
of Welsh Guards, so numerous that there was
scarcely room for the audience ; nor, in domestic
matters, were the floors ever so spotless, the

4

50 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

lamps so well trimmed, or the garden so neat,
as under the regime of Sergeant Godley.

A few weeks before the Somme began, it
became clear that the House could no longer
stand the strain of its double obligation both
to officers and men ; so we bombed the officers
out, and, with the modesty characteristic of
padres, took over for the exiles the premises
of " A " Mess of the Guards' Division in a
house hard by. Here and thus the Officers'
Club, Poperinghe, began under the control
of Neville Talbot. Subsequently, to meet the
manifold problems of catering, etc., in view of
the tremendous concentration in 1917, it was
handed over to E.F.C., who maintained it until
the evacuation in the spring of the following
year.

Scarcely was this new House opened than
the Somme swept Guards and Canadians alike
southwards, and the salient became for the first
time in its history a quiet spot for weakened
divisions to maintain. Hitherto the average
number of daily casualties passing through the
Casualty Clearing Stations in the district had
been seldom less than 200. From that time
till the following February even Ypres was a

OLD ACQUAINTANCE 51

place comparatively well suited for open-air
exercise.

The Somme brought us an unexpected
blessing in the persons of two old Q.W.R.
friends, who, after their contribution to the
regiment's costly participation down south,
came up to recuperate in what was then known
as an entrenching battalion. By the courtesy
of the CO., the House was allowed to attach
them to its staff until they were fit to rejoin
the regiment — they are both now commissioned.
Needless to say, their presence cemented the
old associations and reintroduced the original
atmosphere. The library grew prodigiously,
so that the catalogue was always inferior to
the reality. Debates, whist-drives, classes, and
the standard of musical taste, leapt up as if by
magic. This was our happiest winter, for the
divisions in occupation at the time included
38th, 39th, 47th, and 55th, and among them
many enduring and undeviating friendships
were discovered.

With the coming of the spring, 1917, the
preparations for the Messines offensive brought
the House new friends as well as old. The
23rd Division, which subsequently went to

52 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Italy, counted its Talbotousians by hundreds ;
and in the ominous interval prolonged past
all endurance, while the Fifth Army and the
French came up for July 31, and everyone
said " Hush " at the tops of their voices, the
House reached the zenith of its activity. In
a single day 500 francs was taken in Id. cups
of tea alone. Meanwhile the 8th Corps had
built us a concert-hall, ingeniously contrived
out of an adjoining hop-store. The lawns of
the delightful garden were brown with men
basking like lizards in the sun ; the staff of the
House was augmented to seventeen — its
maximum strength. The 18th Corps appointed
a committee of management, which did yeoman
service, under Major Bowes of the Cambridge-
shires ; and the 19th Corps headed our sub-
scription lists with 1,000 francs. The House
was repapered at least twice a week, and
repainted on alternate Tuesdays. A test tally
of ten minutes' duration at the front door
revealed the entry of 117 men; and thus we
lived through the summer, during which so
many of our best friends died, and came
with set teeth to that unforgettable autumn
when division after division went forward

PER ARDUA 53

almost to drown, that those eternal slopes
might at last be won, which, had the weather
held, might have been ours in the first week of
August. With the late autumn there came
upon the spirit of the men a darkness hitherto
unknown, and the winter did not dispel it.
The Italian disaster, though spoken of with a
bluiF humour which I cannot quote, had its
commensurate effect ; only the fact that the
desperate fighting of the spring was directed,
for the most part, against ourselves saved us.
Had the German really understood our
psychology, he would have then struck at the
French. Further inaction would have shaken
us more than anything else. If anything
would have unmanned us utterly it would
have been the spectacle of a French debacle.
As it was, we had no time to think ; and it is
thought which unnerves the British, as it
inspires the French.

This chapter began as a history of the staff
of the House, but seems even more unfaithful
to its title than the rest. It had therefore
best be brought to a close with some account
of the one permanent member of the staff
besides myself. This can be done the more

54 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

readily in that he is not one much given to
literary tastes, and I can thus sing his praises
more freely than I should else dare to do.
Permit me, therefore, to introduce you to a
real old soldier — " the General," as he was
universally knov^^n to three generations of
Talbot House clientele, and to all the children
of the neighbourhood. On and off the Army
has known him for thirty-one years as No. 239,
Pte. Pettifer, A., 1st The Buffs ; and though
now attached on grounds of debility to what
is vulgarly known as an Area Enjoyment
Company, the peak of his cap retains the
dragon that no right-thinking man would
desire to see replaced. He has refused to put
up his proper array of good-conduct badges,
as they would interfere with the set of his
sleeve over his elbow. For chest protection
he wears a Military Medal, an Indian Frontier
ribbon, the South African, and the so-called
Mons. He is sagacious past belief in the ways
and byways of the Army, which he entered as
a band-boy in the year of my birth. A certain
faded photograph of a cherub incredibly pipe-
clayed, and of a betrousered young warrior
with an oiled forelock emerging beneath a

"THE GENERAL" 55

hat like an inverted Panatella box, repose
in his wallet, and may be seen by diplomatic
approach on the general subject of Brodrick
caps. Long ago he might have put up
sergeant's stripes ; yea, and have been by
now Q.M.S., or even R.S.M. ; but he would
not. Uneasy lies the arm that wears a
crown, and to be " the General " is honour
enough in his honest old eyes. There is,
indeed, a matter touching his proficiency
pay concerning which he does not rest
content. The correspondence whereby it is
finally to be exacted, as it has long ago been
deserved, now travels to and fro by parcel-
post, and at the time of writing* lies heavy on
the conscience (let us hope) of the instructor
in musketry at the depot, whose apostolic
predecessor should long ago have testified to
Pettifer's proficiency with a Lee-Enfield.

In the intervals of civilianism which he has
experienced "the General" has adopted a
mode of life as modest as any affected by the
great staff officers of la Grande Armee. One
is given to understand that, if country-bred,

* This part of the narrative was written in May, 1918.
Hence various painful inconsistences in these fitful pages.

56 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

they have the habits of Cincinnatus ; if
town-dwellers, they have a penchant for the
trade of tobacconist. Pettifer, for his part,
lives in South Hackney, and drives a capacious
cart. Trust an old infantryman to find some-
thing in peace-time which keeps his feet off
the ground ! I wonder whether the demobili-
sation authorities realise this deep-rooted
desire for an antithesis, illustrated in the
other sphere by the story of the Navy man who
proposes to march inland carrying an oar until
he reaches a spot where he is challenged with :
*' What in hell is that thing on your shoulder ?"
Then, he says, he will plant the oar, and settle
down for life.

Pettifer 's only walks abroad are with " the
Nibs " — young Arthur in particular — on
Sundays, when Hackney is left far behind.
Times are when Arthur is weary, whereupon
the following dialogue has been known to
ensue :

P. " 'R'you tired, Art ?"

A. " No, daddy, not tired ; but, daddy, do
carry me."

This anecdote, forthcoming at the end of a
long and rather rough journey near Ypres,

THE CITIZEN 57

breathes a philosophy of rehgion identical with
Herbert's :

" If goodness lead them not then weariness
Will toss them to my breast."

One might suppose that so old a soldier
could have no illusions left. But if, as some
would have us think, faith in human nature is
so to be classified, then is "the General" the
most offending soul alive. To him all men are
as incapable of sustained deceit as he is himself.
I have known him, however, wildly deceitful
for a whole half day on end — i.e., the morning
of April I, when it is prudent to avoid him.
One day in Hackney he took a stranger home
to share — or rather not to share — his dinner.
After which, the problem arose as to the
means whereby their guest might best return
to South Australia, whence he had mysteriously
been spirited to South Hackney. Seeing
perhaps incredulity in the face of Mrs. P.,
"the General" proceeded to lend his guest
five shillings towards the inestimable expenses
of the voyage ; and further recommended, with
much sagacity, a visit to the neighbouring
Home and Colonial Stores, who were persons,

58 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

from their very title, obviously capable of
advising upon so Imperial a matter. "And
d'you know, sir," said Pettifer, when we had
reached this point, "I'm sure that young
fellow sailed on one of them ships that was
never heard of again ? I giv 'im my address,
and everything, but I never once had a line
from 'im from that day to this. An' the missus
didn't 'arf strafe, neither !" When this par-
ticular war broke out, Pettifer got down from
his cart, left the missus with one less dinner
to see to, and the nibs without their Sunday
escort, and rejoined the Buffs. In November
they arrived in France, and wintered in the
bracing locality of " Armonteeres," coming to
the salient in May, 1915. A year after his
landing he was told to report as batman to a
new and unknown chaplain ; but even this was
better than the listening-post job that he had
" clicked for " (and volunteered for) again and
again. Nothing had really impressed him during
the first year, except the occasion when he had
halted and refused passage to his brigadier.
What that distinguished officer said, what the
sergeant said, and what the sentry trium-
phantly replied, must be lost like the grouse

FIDEI DEFENSORES 59

in the gun-room. But by November, 1915,
there were only some twenty-eight of the
Buffs still with the regiment. A big new
draft, five hundred strong, had reached them,
selected, so the story ran, by the following
process. Some nine hundred would-be Hussars
were paraded somewhere at home; and the
following commands were given :

" Roman Catholics, one pace to your front."

" Church of England, stand fast."

" Other religions, one pace to the rear."

The Roman Catholics were drafted into
some Irish regiment, the Non- Conformists
into a Welsh formation, and the five hundred
who stood fast found themselves in the Buffs.
I cannot say that the ecclesiastical gain was
such as to recommend the revival of the Test
Acts. There is a story of a certain inebriate,
who, upon being thus reproached ; " I thought
you were now a teetotaler," replied : " So I
am, ma'am, but not staunch." Though the
gallant five hundred stood fast for their faith
on that question, they evinced no remarkable
churchmanship on their arrival. But they
were staunch enough in face of Fritz. It was

60 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

one of their lieutenants, I think, who retailed
conversation overheard on a very bad black

evening ; " Well, if we're winning this

war, God 'elp the losers."

Pettifer, having at the first interview charac-
teristically announced his inability to meet any
domestic requirements, soon developed unique
capacities in that direction. Shortly after we
fetched up at Talbot House, his powers of
acquisition made themselves only too visibly
felt. Like Horace in the " Brass Bottle," I
became afraid to mention a need lest its fulfil-
ment should bring disaster and disgrace. I
was, for instance, overheard to say that a
carpet for the Chapel was most desirable.
Within an hour the carpet had arrived.
Enquiry revealed the painful fact that it had
come from next door. " They won't be
wanting it, sir ; they do say the family are in
the sou' of France." It is incumbent upon the
clergy to take their stand at such moments
upon bed-rock principle. " General, I can't
say my prayers kneeling on a stolen carpet."
Silence hereafter for a space: then a bright
idea. " Well, sir, if yer won't 'ave it in the
church, it'll do lovely for yer sitting-room."

THE JACKDAW OF POP 61

When even this brilliant alternative is dismissed
as Jesuitical, and the carpet restored to the place
it came from, a few days elapse tranquilly. Then
" the General " scores heavily one morning:
" Yer remember that carpet, sir ?" I admit it.
'* Well, the A.S.C. 'ave scrounged it now."

But God forbid that " the General " should
be thought anti-social or unneighbourly.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
This jackdaw trait is only in relation to things
lying useless and idle, which none will miss ;
and it is more than outweighed by a willing-
ness to give of his own cheerfully, whether or
not it can easily be spared. He is withal the
most adaptable of companions, and will find,
in the most unlikely places, neighbours from
Hackney who deal with the very same trades-
men. Failing this, he will inaugurate a dis-
cussion on that unfailing " Ruy Lopez " of the
Contemptibles' conversation — what is the oldest
regiment in the Army ? He is never at a loss
in any British atmosphere, and in an incredibly
short space of time will effectively " smarten
up the parade." In foreign society he is
equally at his ease, largely because he has
eschewed all attempts at their methods of

62 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

speech, and continues, like so many of the best
EngHshmen, to regard their inabiUty to under-
stand him as a species of chronic deafness, to
be overcome by slower articulation, sedulous
repetition, and a raising of the voice in utterance.
It is certainly amazing what excellent results
may be thus obtained. There is, moreover,
not a child in Poperinghe whose face does not
light up at his approach. It is they who have
conferred upon him the title of " le General,'
by which he is greeted in every narrow street.
And to many of the old folk as well he has
been a benefactor in dark days ; wheeling their
'* sticks " away to safety, or greatly concerned
for the still more difficult removal of the bed-
ridden. Fancy bed-ridden old in such a town
as this has been !

On March 23, 1918, just after midnight, a
great crash woke me. Before we had turned
in several heavy shells had landed somewhere
in the town, but none really near the House.
This one was, however, obviously fairly close,
and I lay unpleasantly half awake, waiting for
the next one to decide me on my course of action.
As yet we had no dug-out worth going to, and
I was trying to summon up courage to go to

A VERY GALLANT GENTLEMAN 63

sleep again when Pettifer entered, candle in
hand, a la Lady Macbeth. The old man was
more moved than I had ever seen him.*"
" There's a woman screaming somewhere, and
I can't-a-bear it," he said. With that he
turned, and I heard him go downstairs and
undo the front door. I got the staff into the
dug-out, such as it was (bad policy this),
while another landed — farther away this time.
Then I went out and found the street twenty
yards away blocked with debris. It was
Cyril's restaurant, which had been blown
bodily into the street. Up among the
wreckage, which was momentarily threaten-
ing to subside still further, Pettifer, assisted by
Jimmy, another *' old sweat," our cook, was
busy. A child, a man, and a woman came
out by some miracle alive and uninjured.
These were the only survivors from among
the eleven inmates, though at the time we had
hopes for more, as there were still groans to be

* On a previous occasion, when I had dared to leave my
bed and suggest to Pettifer some precautionary move
downstairs^ I had been soothed with the reply, "You just
stay where you are, sir. What I say is, if it's got yer, it's
got yer. vti ' ;^»* 'f^i^S it

64 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

heard. The man came down in his shirt only,
and besought me in a dazed way for leg
covering. 1 had a greatcoat over my pyjamas,
so he had my pyjama trousers then and there.
Recouped with a pair of drawers, and sending
across, as Pettifer required, the carpenter
with a saw to work up the staircase from below
if possible, I went to the Club and telephoned
for the fire-escape ladder, to reach the parts of
the house still standing ; and thence to the
A. P.M., our good friend Captain Straughan,
who dressed and came on the scene with his
men. Meanwhile the shelling had apparently
ceased for the night, but our increased resources
and the early morning light only revealed the
completeness of the catastrophe. Madame
Cyril was alive when reached, but died shortly
afterwards. Her husband's head could nowhere
be found until the following day, when it was
discovered in the house opposite — blown by a
grim jest of death across the narrow street and
through a broken window. But these dark
details are only permissible if they serve to
set forth the profile of my hero the more
distinctly.

If, indeed, no man may be " a hero to his own

O GOOD OLD MAN ! 65

valet," yet the converse is a proved event ; and
" A Dream of Honest Men-Servants, from
Saul's Armour- Bearer to Sancho Panza, from
Slop to Samuel Weller," would furnish a noble
theme. For if, on the one hand, the plush
Jeames descends from the melancholy Jaques,
Old Adam and Mark Tapley, on the other
hand, would acknowledge as heir to their spirit
many a humble batman who has loved his
officer like his own son — yea, and, if need be,
has proved it by the most incontestable of
evidence.

66 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER VIII

It is one thing to trade in light reminiscence,
and that upon the friendhness of a voluntary
audience. It is another for a parish priest to
dwell openly on memories that do not grow
less sacred, as they recede into the background
of time. Truly, Talbot House had " a great
altar to see to," and no Chapel in B.E.F.,
joyous and noble as some were, can have
witnessed so many vicissitudes without, and
such continuity of worship within.

Let me try, then, to tell the story of the
Chapel in such sequence as is possible, inter-
rupting the recital only with reflections that
cannot be withheld ; and if the narrative grows
tedious, or begins to savour of the Cathedral
verger's " We releads the roof once every
hundred years, we does," then — break gently

THE CHAPEL 67

with your guide, but only that you make your
pilgrimage in silence.

For the first fortnight, the Chapel of Talbot
House was on the floor below the attic. It
was Padre Crisford, of the L.R.B., who
insisted on its exaltation to the big hoploft
above. The difficulty of this step lay in the
fact that one wall of this attic had been holed
by a shell ; and even when this damage was
repaired, the R.E.'s entered their caveat against
the soundness of the floor. There ensued a
series of consultations which grew gloomier in
ascending ratio of rank. First, two London
sappers danced on it, and assured us cheerily
that it would stand anything. So far so good.
But the lance-corporal in charge of them
shook his head with the pregnant pessimism
of Lord Burleigh himself. An appeal was
lodged with the sergeant over him, who
expressed the gravest doubts. Next, the
lieutenant immediately concerned tapped and
condemned the joists. His captain came in
one day, and verbally countersigned this adverse
verdict. The major of the Field Company
trod as delicately as Agag, and left us a prey
to an hourly expectation of spontaneous

L

68 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

collapse. In despair, we appealed to Colonel
Tannet- Walker,* who, after personal inspec-
tion, had the details of the floor worked out
and presented in triplicate, proving conclusively
that the attic was wholly unsafe. After this
we asked no more questions, but opened the
Chapel therein without more ado.

Times were when it repented us of our
rashness, but we lived to repent of our repen-
tance. On Sunday nights, for years on end,
with a hundred and fifty full-grown men
squeezed in somehow, and twenty more upon
the stairs, the Chapel rocked like a huge
cradle ; until we were fain to ask a congrega-
tion drilled into habits of simultaneous move-
ment to kneel and stand in lingering succession.
On occasions of shelling or bombing, or (once)
of both these amenities together, the Chapel
might readily have carried the congregation
with it. On one Sunday night in July, 1917,
there were nearly a hundred casualties at
Poperinghe Station during Evensong in the
Chapel. On March 18, 1918, a Quiet Day
conducted by Archdeacon Southwell was held

* The originator afterwards of the elephant dug-outs in
the Asylum and on the Canal Bank.

THE CHAPEL 69

in spite of a slow methodical shelling. Several
'obus" landed within fifty yards of the Chapel,
but the Quiet Day went on. I can recall
Celebrations and Confessions with similar
accompaniments.

There was at such times a curious feeling of
comfort and peace in the complete impotence
which threw the mind wholly upon the
unknown will of God. It was so utterly
impossible to foresee the immediate future that
it ceased to be a matter of great concern ;*
and, for the rest, the tiny light that burned
above the altar shone with so tranquil a
significance that some men (and real men too)
preferred to go upstairs rather than down,
when the neighbourhood was unhealthy.

Be all this as it may, in the attic our altar
was builded, at the close of 1915. The Bishop
of Winchester sent us out some splendid old
hangings, dark red and dark green, which had
once been in use in the private Chapel at
Southwark. These were hung so as to form a
baldachino, beneath which was set the car-
penter's bench, raised on a rough dais.

* I speak as the most timid civilian that ever took
shelter in khaki.

70 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Perugino's " Crucifixion," cunningly framed
by a Queen's Westminster in the broken top
of a wicker table, with a lick of gold paint
round the bamboo edging, formed the altar-
piece. Subsequently this was replaced by a
splendid crucifix made and presented by 120th
Railway Construction Company, An exquisite
silver-gilt chalice, also a memorial, with a
veil of perfect Flemish lace from 6th London
Field Ambulance, came later, but may be
mentioned here ; as also may be the gift of a
Guards' officer, an altar-frontal of green and
gold, the noble work of the Sisters of Hay ward's
Heath.

The weakness of the central space was so
pronounced that we left it carpeted, but open ;
thus bringing the sanctuary down into the
midst of the congregation, who were benched
on either side. From the king-beam of the
loft there hung a great gilt candelabrum,
which bathed the whole Chapel in a warm
glow of light, with sconces from the side walls
to complete the illumination. We avoided
that painful obsession of the modern church
furnisher, the handsome communion rail ; and
a strip of carpet, flanked by two black candle-

THE CHAPEL 71

sticks, emphasised the unity between mini-
strant and recipients. With a similar concep-
tion, many offers of R.E. Companies to
construct a pulpit were firmly set aside. All
through the three years gifts to the Chapel came
in. A Confirmation chair was given in memory
of a wonderful boy, Lance-corporal Archie
Forrest, who was baptised and confirmed and
received his Communion in the little Chapel
all in six short weeks, before he and many of
his comrades * passed from war to peace in the
terrible summer of 1917. The great standard
candlesticks made out of old carved bedposts
were the gift of a Canadian gunner, in
memory of the Australians and Canadians
who worshipped with us. An oval silver
wafer- box, commemorating Rifleman Newton
Gammon, Q.W.R., supplied the bread of
blessing for those who knelt where he had
knelt before them. A beautiful old prie-dieu
bore the names of Arthur Mayhew (6th London)
and William Wellings Locke (133 Field Ambu-
lance). Many other dedications on pictures and
on candlesticks, Bible f and Missal, spoke of the

* P. Special {i.e. Gas) Company, R.E.

t The experimental experience of Talbot House found

72 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

saints that had been of Caesar's household, and
Ufted the hearts of those that came after out
of the lonehness of their discipleship into a
fellowship with many witnesses.

This inventory of ornaments is, perhaps, a tale
of little worth in the judgment of those who
are accustomed to the lavish elegancies of a
home parish. Yet such will bear with me,
when they remember how far a little beauty
went amid such surroundings as ours. To live
day after day not only in danger but in squalor ;
to be gipsies in season and out, in a nightmare
fit for Cain ; to be homeless amid all that is
hideous and disheartening, habituated only to
a foreground of filth and to a horizon of
apparently invincible menace ; to move always
among the wreckage of men's lives and hopes,
haunted not only by a sense of being yourself

that Church notices, put together with forethought, were
valuable as an occasional alternative to a first lesson ; and
that the New Testament lesson gained greatly by a distri-
bution of books to all the congregation, " Weymouth "
then being read aloud and followed intently. Half the
difficulties of the use of the Prayer-book are overcome, if
the number of the page is given out clearly. The un-
familiar are thankful for this guidance ; and those offended
are worth offending^

THE CHAPEL 78

doomed to die, but by an agony of mind which
cried out at every step against the futile folly
of the waste of time and of treasure, of skill and
of life itself — this is what war meant to a soul
sensitive to such impressions. Those at home,
who were sympathetic to such information,
heard with imaginative ardour of services held
in strange places, and from their cushioned
pews sighed for experiences so unconventional
and uplifting. But crudity, especially when
muddy, is a tonic that can lose its stimulative
value, and become merely repulsive. Thus it
was that the homely beauty of the Chapel, with
its inward gift of hope and fellowship, drew
many who learnt their hunger in the grimmest
school which the spirit of man has yet experi-
enced ; and eyes, hardened by indomitable will
to withstand the brutalising obscenities of war,
softened to appraise our simple seeking after
sweetness and light.

How far this contrast exists in civil life, and
whether its operation is likely to be similar in
effect, I cannot here inquire. Yet my rede
would be that the Church is indeed lacking in
a wise and wide conception of its task, if it fails
to employ its heritage of beauty in ceremony

74 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

and ornament, in the midst of a civilisation so
squalid and so drab as ours. Yet it must
always be remembered that the task of the
Church is not completed, until this contrast
ceases to exist ; and that it is in the clubs, in
the schools, in the streets and homes themselves,
that we must no less be lovers of the beautiful.

Certain other relics there were in the Chapel
that had a pathos all their own — a figure of the
Virgin brought down triumphantly by a tired
man from a German dug-out beyond Pilkem,
early in August, 1917 ; a linen streamer
(visible on the picture post-card) that came
from Ypres Cathedral ; a wooden carving of a
monk, found in the ruins of Velu on the
Somme, and brought as a gift to the Chapel by
a delightful gunner,"^ who was killed before he
could deposit it in the place whither he had
brought it with such loving care. Even the
small semicircular windows were transformed
by the ingenuity of the 14th Motor Machine
Gunners into a passable semblance of stained
glass, and when the rest of the windows of the
house were blown in these remained intact.

Church music was an early problem of

* Corporal Charlie Payne, 18th Siege Battery.

THE CHAPEL 75

pressing urgency ; and in January, 1916,
Major Street arrived back from leave with a
portable harmonium somehow blended with
his kit. This groan-box, though much given
to weakness at the knees, served us faithfully
for six months. In Holy Week, 1916, 1
managed to borrow Godfrey Gardner,* then
lieutenant in the Suffolk Regiment, for a week's
duty at Talbot House, and his skill on this
tiny instrument was a miracle of adaptation.

That first Holy Week, observed as it was
with a completeness never before attempted
in a place so near the line, taught us all much.
The daily services were full, and the Three
Hours Service conducted by Neville drew to-
gether a cluster of about fifty Christian men,*j*
intent upon a common homage to One whose
way of suffering they themselves now ap-
proached with a sympathy and admiration
born of their own experience. Only the day
before there had been bloody doings near the
Canal at Boesinghe, when a company of the
Bedfords had been blown by a whirlwind con-

* Killed on the Somme in July, 1916. He was organist
of the Royal Philharmonic Society.

t Among them the Corps Commander, seated between a
lieutenant and a private.

76 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

centration out of a miserable travesty of a
trench — E.35, I think — and the tale of the
Agony and the Darkness fell upon our ears with
a new sense of kinship ; while the Easter mes-
sage in its turn lifted our hearts to the note of
a redemption of the world accomplished only
through sacrifice human and divine. Easter
Eve brought us gifts of spring flowers not only
gathered in the ruined gardens of Ypres and
Goldfisch Chateau by our own men, but also
great bunches of bloom from some Belgian
Nuns hard by. As an earnest of the morrow,
there also came large numbers of officers and
men eager to make their Confessions. Trained
as I had been to regard this practice as excep-
tional, nothing impressed me more than the
intense relief with which, throughout the three
years, hundreds of the most manly and noble-
minded came thus to the feet of Jesus; and
the voluntary humiliation, which is there sus-
tained, was not the penitent's alone; for the
glimpse of lives plunged into realities else over-
whelming, yet conscious more than ever of the
dominating reality of God Himself, could but
move the human assistant to a sense of awe
and self-reproach. It were easier not to say

THE CHAPEL 77

these things at all in the publicity of print, but
this omission would be false stewardship on
my part ; and I feel that it is the wish of those
who went thence, as some did, to their im-
mediate death, that the secret of their spiritual
strength should thus be known.

Easter Day, 1916, I shall always regard as
the happiest of my ministry. We had no past
evidence to assist in estimating the number of
Communicants to be expected, or the times
most convenient for their coming. Therefore,
as an act of hope, the Holy Week and Easter
Service list, printed long before in England,
announced ten Celebrations from 5.30 a.m
onwards. It was quite possible, especially in
view of the lively state of the line, that only
a few would be able to attend. The event far
surpassed our hopes. Not only was every
Celebration furnished well with joyful guests,
but so great was the throng, and so diver-
gent their estimates of time, that the whole of
the floor below the Chapel was full of con-
gregations waiting to replace that already
above. Singlehanded as I was, I could do no
more than Lift and Break and Give without
pause from 5.30 until after noonday, those that

I

78 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

were fed being above four hundred men.* At
11.30 we sang Merbecke, greatly aided by
Godfrey Gardner in the further loft, and by
some of the Welsh G uards' choir. The congre-
gation had long ago overflowed its benches, and
men knelt where they could. Englishmen are
awkward and self-conscious, as a rule, in
worship, but there was a spirit there which set
them at ease. Hymns, during the long silences
of the administration, came with a quiet spon-
taneity, as though a voice had said "It is I :
be not afraid. Handle Me, and see."

At 12.30 Colonel Hutchinson carried
Gardner, myself, and the little groan- box
off to lunch at his group headquarters on
the Elverdinge Road. After an Easter ser-
vice there, we went on to one of his batteries
at Fantasio Farm. The afternoon was
spring-like, and a Boche aeroplane was
directing some target practice on Hale's
Farm a few hundred yards away, which was
used as a storehouse for the hand-grenades of
that name. The farm was alight, and its

* At Easter, 1917, these numbers grew to five hundred ;
at Easter, 1918, on account of the military situation, only a
hundred and sixty were able to come.

THE CHAPEL 79

contents were detonating in a staccato manner.
Our car swung round the narrow corner
beyond the brewery at Elverdinghe, and
awakened the malicious interest of the
observer, who bracketed on the road behind
and in front of us. By this time we were
almost alongside Fantasio Farm, and the
Adjutant ordered us to tumble out with the
harmonium, and make our way to our destina-
tion, while he piloted the car out of danger.
This we did, and, after a short respite in a
friendly ditch, proceeded towards the ruin
previously pointed out to us, carrying the
harmonium, hymn-books, and Communion
case. The farm looked deserted in the
extreme, but we were not a little cheered by
a notice-board on an adjacent tree-trunk
displaying the following, or something like it :

FANTASIO FARM. '' B.21.d.5-9.

LOST TRAVELLERS CARED FOR.
LONELY SOLDIERS CORRESPONDED WITH.

TEAS FOR TOURISTS AT SHORT NOTICE.

YOU MAY TELEPHONE FROM HERE.

k

80 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

We were welcomed, first into the mess, and
then for reason of policy into the dug-out ;
for our arrival with the harmonium had
apparently been marked by the cherub up
aloft. When he gave over and went home
to tea we also emerged, to find that the
battery cow, already entitled to three gold
stripes on its foreleg, had qualified for a
fourth. After our two services had been
triumphantly held we sped back to Poperinghe,
arriving on the stroke of half-past six.
Pettifer met me at the door with the news
that the Chapel was packed for Evensong,
and that Colwell, a dear old orderly of the
House, had been badly hit in the lungs, and
was anxious to see me at No. 17 Casualty
Clearing Station on (or rather off) the Abeele
Road. With a heavy heart I went to Even-
song, asking the Motor Machine Gun captain
who was there to send me down to see the
boy at once after conclusion of the last
Celebration.* By 8.30 we were storming

* I cannot raise here, nor indeed would I wish to do so,
a discussion of the great problems of Reservation and
Fasting Communion. Talbot House began with a bias
against the first practice, and in favour of the second.

THE CHAPEL 81

along the Abeele Road, but neither of us
knew the exact position of the hospital. I
was, however, certain that the switch railway-
line led to it ; so, leaving the Clyno where the
railway crossed the road, I walked along the
track in the dark, only to find a train drawn
up on it, and that across a bridge so narrow
that the coaches overlapped it on either side.
It was no time for hesitation, so I crept in
under the train and so along across the
sleepers, a distance relatively short, but
rendered interminable in imagination by my
ignorance of the engine-driver's intentions.
Had I known my Belgian trains then as I
know them now, my fears would have been

After a while, and guided solely (as I believe we should be)
by the principle that no rule, however cherished, should
stand between the lay Communicant and a devout and
frequent Reception, these judgments were reversed in our
use. Reservation, for purposes of administration, links the
tired and lonely worshipper, deterred from attendance in
the morning by duty, to those who then remembered their
brotherhood with him. Evening Communion, from the
Sacrament thus Reserved, can come with a great silence
and peace, which the haste and bustle of the morning
often invade. The mere physical fasting is as nothing
in comparison with the preparatory vigil of the mind
and soul.

6

82 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

dispelled. Once across the bridge, 1 crawled
thankfully out between two wheels, and found
the tented hospital, and the patient doing
better than I had dared to hope. When I
got back to Talbot House I was more than
grateful for my Sunday supper.

This rambling reminiscence must once more
suffice where deeper thoughts lie hidden. The
story of other Festivals would differ only in
detail, and of every Sunday only in degree.
For more than a year the little Chapel had
seldom less than a hundred Communicants
each week, and when London Divisions were
near at hand these numbers almost doubled.
Certainly more than ten thousand officers and
men have received the Sacrament in that
Upper Room. Some eight hundred have
been confirmed there, and nearly fifty bap-
tised. Some who read these lines will
remember witnessing a scene, like that in
the last chapter of " The House of Prayer,"
when three men of the British West Indian
Regiment, sponsored by three of their own
sergeants already Christians, received the sign
upon their foreheads. The congregation at
the time — a weekday Evensong — included

THE CHAPEL 83

Canadians, Australians, New Zealanders, as
well as men from the Old Country ; and a few
Chinese coolies, who had found their way into
the Chapel, watched with amazement actions
so simple yet so profound.

Canadian churchmanship impressed me not
a little. For six months in 1916 a Canadian
sergeant-major was the Vicars warden ; and
it was he most appropriately welcomed the
Archbishop of Canterbury * on his memorable
visit to the House early that summer. Almost
the first Canadians I saw were two tunnellers,
who on a weekday morning set out from the
old French dug-outs beyond Vlamertinghe at
5 a.m., and arrived at the Chapel for the
Celebration (then at 6.30 on weekdays),
having heard that the service was held daily,
and being quite prepared to forego their
chances of breakfast at the end of a ten-mile
walk. The first Australian that came my way
turned up on a Saturday night, and, having
consulted the service-list, reproached me with
having no Celebration he could attend : " 7.30's
no good to me, Padre ; I'll be on duty by then."

* Cosmo Ebor also honoured the House with a visit on
the eve of the 19 J 7 offensive.

84 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

I offered to have a special Sunday Celebration
at 6.30 for him. " Now you're talking, Padre ;
I'll be there, and I may bring a bunch of boys
along." Next morning, at 6.30 a.m., behold
twenty - seven Communicants from one
Australian Field Ambulance ! Most overseas
men regarded their young countries as back*
ward only in religion — " You see. Padre,
Australia's a godless place compared to the
Old Country." 1 hoped not: then there came a
little flood of light — " Bill, now ; why, he's not
much of a Churchman. Pays his church-rate
and mission-money, and it about ends there
with him." With how small a proportion of
C. of E. in England does it get as far as that
double free-will offering !

In justice, however, to the home Church,
and to the ministry of other denominations
as well, it may here be added that there were
very few men who did not know at home one
parson whom they liked. True, they often
regarded him as an exception to the general
rule, but that is the English way. Some
made delightfully naive comment on their
clergy, such as, " Our Vicar, of course,
doesn't have much time for us. He has to

THE CHAPEL 85

go a lot into society"; or, "Our Vicar's very
High Church, and doesn't hold with open-air
preachings " ; but for the most part, the work
of the old black-coated guard accomplishes
more than they ever know.

By an order or equivalent tradition of the
Regular Army, offertories are only of excep-
tional occurrence. But the Army, as it was
in Flanders, contained many who were rich,
either positively or by comparison, and
generous alike beyond all control. It was
largely upon the gifts of these, not forgetting
the continual help of some benefactors at
home,^ that the financial credit of the House
reposed. For three years the House collected
more than the yearly maintenance of an
adopted child for the Waifs and Strays
Society. This little girl, whom none of us
had ever seen, was the object of the most
affectionate solicitude among small and great.
The Military Police in the Prison at Ypres

* Parents, on the spontaneous recommendation of their
boys, or in memory of sons " gone west/' sent us monies for
the welfare of the House ; while publishers, such as the
Cambridge University Press and Dent's, supplied us freely
with invaluable reinforcements for the Library. -•

86 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

collected eagerly on her behalf even during the
exceedingly rough period of April, 1917. Major
Harry Jago, D.S.O., M.C., of 2nd Devons,
asks anxiously for her in the last letter before
his death. One Lancashire lad, than whom
no more loyal friend could be met with, told
me for three Sundays in succession how his
officer was giving a prize for the best-kept
mules. And it was not until one night, when
he came in triumph and laid the prize-money
in my hand for the little girl, that I knew the
secret of his ambition. Yet another, having
lost his sole chance of leave, through its
closing down for the fighting time ahead,
paid in the hundred francs which he had
saved to spend at home. If any endowment
ever carried blessings with it, Hannah Mitchell
was blessed indeed.

But the Belgian children also profited by
the same spirit; and on three occasions we
feted them with incredible energy. Their
great day was always December 6, the Feast
of Saint Nicholas, on the eve whereof the
carrot is well and truly laid at the foot of the
chimney to win the favour of his donkey at
the conclusion of its precipitate downward

De H.H. Voorzitter en BestuurKfeden van Talbot House,
bestaande uit Officieren en soldaten van het Britisch leger,
begeerende hunne kleine Belgische vriendjes als naar oude
gewoonte de feestdag van St. Niklaas vrengdevol te zien
doorbrengen, hebben de eer.

M

uit te noodigen tot het Kindeifeest, welk zal gegeven worden
op 6 December om 1.30 Uuren namiddag in Talbot House,
85 Gasthuis straat.

Het feest zal bestaan uit allerhande spelen, verfrisschingen,
uit deelen van speelgoed en Cinema Vertooning.

Voor de kleinen welk op heden niet uitgenoodigd zijn wotdt
een tweede feesle op 1 Januari.

Het spijt ons dat de geringheid van plaats waarover wij
beschikken ons niet toelaat de ouders uit te noodigen. Degenen
die hunne kleinen na het feest willen naar huis leiden kunnen
ze om 4.30 Uuren namiddag komen halen.

THE INVITATION TO THE CHII.DRENS PARTY

THE CHAPEI. 87

career. Our parties took a prodigious amount
of organising, and for weeks beforehand both
the A.M.F.O. and the post corporal had
their endurance greatly strained. Our first
fete nearly broke down at the outset, for on
the arrival of the school I approached a dismal
little boy, and asked him in French what he
would like to play, to which he responded
with a sad philosophy: "Belgian children have
forgotten their games." Sure enough, an
attempt at "hunt the slipper" was a miser-
able failure ; but the happy inspiration of an
apple, smeared with ration jam, and dependent
on a string, between our pensive philosopher
and a rival, both blindfold, quickly attained
international celebrity. Five hundred cups
of tea, after they were made, proved a novelty
not so palatable ; but the memory of this false
step was drowned in Fry's Cocoa, brewed in
supplementary buckets. After this, a Pathe
film of a real Belgian pre-war fete (happily,
yet honestly, come by) brought the school-
master to his feet with a speech more eloquent
than intelligible. How is it that all our Allies
are born orators, and we so slow at the uptake ?
The last children's party almost ended in

88 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

tragedy, for before its completion bombing
began. No harm was done, and the children
were imperturbable — far more so than their
parents and their hosts. A rumour, however,
reached Blighty, with the result that some
melancholy Jaques in the House of Commons
starred a question as to the number of Belgian
children who had been massacred at a party in
Poperinghe by bombs dropped from an English
aeroplane !

Chief among other objects for which Talbot
House appealed was the Service Candidates
Fund, which indeed was opened by large
offertories from Talbot House, the first
donation being from Major Street's family.
And as the whole scheme for Service Candi-
dates, as it is now called, originated in Talbot
House, and some two hundred of the original
candidates enlisted there, some sketch of its
inception and ideals may well conclude this
chapter ; for there is no movement in the
Church to-day fraught with greater possibilities
for good, if led with vision and practical wisdom.
On the other hand, if through lack of these,
through class prejudice or inadequate financial
support, the movement is paralysed, then the

THE CHAPEL 89

Church will lose its hold on the loyalty of men
confident in the sincerity of its attitude towards
them ; and the memory of the failure will
darken all our days.

When it became obvious in 1915 that the
war was destined to be prolonged, the future
recruitment for the ministry of the Church
was a matter calling for considerable foresight.
Even before the war both the number and the
quality of the candidates for Orders had caused
grave misgivings. This was not due, as the
R.P.A. imagined, to a general intellectual
defection ; but rather to the miserable penury
which the richest Church in Christendom was
contented to consider adequate for the bulk
of its ministers, and to the narrow class of
society from which they were mostly drawn.
Now, every year of war meant a loss of at
least five hundred men to the ministry, and
though in some cases that loss was only a
postponement, in many more it was final.
The temper and tradition of the Church of
England are patriotic* to a fault. Both the

* It is interesting incidentally to observe that in the first
Canadian and Australian forces the Anglican percentage
was out of all proportion to the relative denominational
strength.

90 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

old and new armies drew thousands of their
officers from the parsonage, and every cohimn
of obituary notices contained one or more
instance of the death of a young aspirant to
Holy Orders.

Now, a study of the aftermath of England's
last three wars showed that numbers of surviv-
ing officers in each case came subsequently
into the ministry. But in armies such as we
now possessed the class distinction as such
ceased almost to exist ; and in view of the
industrial outlook it would be folly indeed if
the ministry, alone among the professions,
refused to recognise the justice of the principle
of equality of opportunity. God forbid that
His Church should cling to a fallacy so crude
and so snobbish as virtually to deny that His
Call can come to men of other than public
school training ; and when we remember that
the oldest among these schools, and the senior
Universities into which they flow, were first
estabhshed not for the rich but for the poor
(and that by the Church's own generous
wisdom), the need for the reassert ion of a
principle as old as the Christian ministry
itself, in a manner striking and unhesitating,

THE CHAPEL 91

becomes vitally important. The conception
of a Levitical tribe is purely pre-Christian ;
and the custom of the celibacy of the clergy,
though more questionable on other grounds,
at least prevented the stale inter-breeding of a
small class of the community M^hich is partly
responsible for so much clericalism being co-
existent with so little vital religion.

The war, with its reassertion of the vertical
divisions between nations, erased, or at least
softened, the horizontal divisions of class ; and
the time was ripe for a great forward njove-
ment on the part of the Church itself towards
the ideas already seen in the working at
Kelham and Mirfield. In the Challenge in
April, 1915, the vision of a great recruitment
from all ranks of the Army, resulting in colleges
of men of every type and social standing,
united by the experience of war, and called so
as by fire, was first set forth. And in Talbot
House the men were first enrolled. Later the
lists grew beyond the scope of private responsi-
bility, and were transferred to Headquarters.
Bishop Gwynne consulted the Archbishops on
the whole problem, with the result that the
authoritative sanction of the Church was given

92 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

to the scheme ; and to-day over 2,000 officers
and men are candidates for preliminary training
and selection. ^

It is the very reverse of our aim to produce
an ill-equipped ministry, and the candidates
themselves are eager for a real and liberal
education. But the verdict on this vital point
rests with the financial authorities of the
Church, and behind them in the last resort
with the sympathy and steady assistance during
these ensuing years of Churchpeople at large.
No inanimate memorial can compare in the
sight of God with a living witness, trained and
equipped, and eager for his share in the task of
reconciliation both of man with God and of
man with man.

I cannot leave the old Chapel thus. I must
climb once more the steep and narrow stairs,
and find the lamp glowing above the altar in
that Upper Room. It is empty else, but indeed
I can people it at will. Here are many dear
friends and brave hearts. Arthur Cole will be
my Server, and Charlie Williams will lead the
singing. Bernard Stenning, Alfred Atkinson,

* At the amazing school for Service Candidates, now
estabhshed in the Prison at Knutsford, this dream is
coming more than true.

THE CHAPEL 1^ T 93

Fred Burrows, Bertie Hoptrough, Cyril Russell,
Basil Laurence, Arthur Aked, Landels Fol-
kard, Percy Cooper, Bill Ogden, and a hundred
more will draw near to kneel where He, who
is invisible as they, may minister to them the
medicine of immortality. Here, in the times
of prayer, hearts have been open. Here the
blind have received their sight, the lame have
walked, and the lepers been cleansed indeed.

0 ye spirits and souls of the righteous ; O ye
holy and humble men of heart ; O ye of the
furnace seven times heated ; bless ye the Lord.
For it was with Him that ye walked unharmed
in the midmost of the fire.

Postscript. — On reading this chapter in proof, I find
that it conveys too rose-coloured an impression of the state
of religion, which those who had a finger on the spiritual
pulse of the Army for any length of time were far from
feeling. A League of the Mnspiritual War, had it ever
existed, would have mustered a large and influential
membership.

Secondly, there is no mention of party terms, an omission

1 do not regret. As the thing was, the open Prayer-
meeting was as natural a part of Sunday worship as the
Eucharist; and the House was Evangelical to the core,
whatever else it added. Many Nonconformists were
members of our congregation, for we all agreed to hold
by our affirmative principles, and the " yeas " of religious
experience do not conflict. Besides, what faith we found
was Galilean, and had the gift of dawn.

94 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER IX

1918

The story of the House in 1918 must be
told with considerable restraint; for in the
two most critical moments of that year it found
itself in the bad books of certain local military
authorities, and it would be ill to use de-
mobilised freedom as a cloak of maliciousness.
It was not, of course, to be expected that those
concerned with issues then so vital could always
permit the individual to do what he thought
his duty ; nor, on the other hand, was I, who
had always regarded the Army rather as a
sphere of work than as a school of unquestion-
ing obedience, an individual worthy of such
consideration. The humorous element in the
situation is that from the point of view of
Talbot House the tremendous tides of the
year's campaign are chiefly memorable in their
domestic results, much as in "The White

1918 95

Company " the old bowman*s tale of Poictiers
leads his audience to doubt whether it was his
looted feather-bed or the kingly crown of
France that was most notably at stake.

The winter of 1917-18 was supremely
wretched. The defeat of our summer hopes,
and the full extent of our autumn losses, were
common, though whispered, knowledge. An
evil spirit for the first time troubled both
officers and men ; and in the inevitable stagna-
tion the phantom of failure, ridiculed before,
walked grimly abroad, and was not always
challenged.

Carlyle construes man's unhappiness to come
out of his greatness, and certainly this sense
of failure wounded most deeply where there
was most depth to wound. The Army, so
Roman in its outlook and traditions,* gave
under pressure of circumstance a certain
attention to this phenomenon, and treated
the decline in morale with a massage of enter-
tainments and longer canteen hours. A bolder
policy would have succeeded better, for the
soldier with a mind (and in this Army such

* I am not referring to the Royal Army Chaplains'
Department.

96 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

men were no negligible number) needed rather
light and leading. Desertion — that most pitiful
tragedy of active service — while always merci-
fully rare, became during these months less
rare than usual, so far as my experience went.
Four men in a single week gave themselves up
in Talbot House in the childish hope that I
could in some way undo what they had done.
Rancour and ill-feeling between officers and men
first then forced themselves upon my attention ;
and, with a sufficient audacity, we instituted,
to counteract some of these poisons, a series
of informal meetings called " grousing circles,"
to which a nucleus of trustworthy friends
brought men with grievances, while a few
splendidly helpful officers dropped in to listen
and occasionally to advise. These meetings
were so manifestly good that, when reported to
the Army Staff, they were not only sanctioned,
but several local troubles were quietly adjusted.
The chief causes of complaint were simple in
the extreme — the admitted injustice of the
distribution of leave, the inequitable distribu-
tion of the bread and biscuit ration, in which
the infantry (as usual) came out the losers, the
absence of restaurant accommodation for men,

1918 97

the grotesque inequalities of pay, and so forth.
In the suburbs of war, where Poperinghe now
found itself, the pulse of brotherhood beat far
more slowly than in the slums — that is, in
the line itself; and throughout the world of
auxiliary forces (mechanical transport, etc.)
the strain could indeed be severe, but the
spirit of unity and sacrifice was lacking. As
for the West-End of Warfare, it was, from the
point of view of men who had experienced it
for a short while, conducted in the manner
of a mixed workhouse ; where the sins of the
worthless were visited upon the respectable, as
a deterrent which should reduce their visits to
a minimum. Even the cleavage between the
temporary and the time-serving Army was now
more marked than hitherto. The two variant
attitudes of mind may be summarised in two
sentences: the civilian soldier said: "I don't
mind the war so much, but I can't stick the
Army"; the regular replied: ** When can we
finish with this beastly war and get back to real
soldiering?" It is partly the distaste for this"real
soldiering " that emptied the Army so early and
so fast after the armistice. A great exodus from
an ancient fraternity is always a melancholy

7

98 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

spectacle, and impoverishing in the double loss
that it entails. The Church, after the death of
Wesley and the secession of his followers, found
its life for a generation bound in shallows, while
the seceders for their part have grown to feel
a sense of loss not the less real because so diffi-
cult of definition. So the great man-slide of
these last few months from the B.E.F. discovers,
perhaps, already in many hearts feelings of a
mutual understanding which in the time of
union were as hotly repudiated.

All this, while we stand still on the threshold
of the 1918 campaign 1 I kept a diary of sorts
during this last year for the first time ; but its
entries are often irrelevant, as the patient
reader of these chapters has cause enough to
conjecture. Notes of engagements and precis
of meetings are most strongly in evidence ; but
even these have interest. By example, on
January 17 Colonel Bushell,^ of 7th Queens,
arrived to beg for waste-paper and sandbags
of sufficient quality, if possible, to make gaiters
and snow-boots for his depleted battalion. He
and his major were both great friends of the
House, and we strove to meet his requirements

* A famous commander and posthumous V.C.

1918 99

with two or three bundles of sandbags, which
we had acquired by private influence from a
certain dump with a view to a dug-out of our
own. For the paper, several bundles of highly
patriotic leaflets which had recently arrived
seemed admirably adapted for the purpose,
being both hot and strong.

Other entries show the House proceeding
normally with not more than the customary
series of crises in each twenty-four hours.
Chaplains' conferences, journeyings to outlying
parishioners, daily services, concerts, debates,
whist- drives, etc., stretch out like the line of
spectral kings before Macbeth. All the winter
we were hard at work on education both civic
and scholastic, and, indeed, quiet talks on
housing drew more men than many a noisy
game of " House." We had, moreover, at this
time a dramatic party of our very own, which
acted, with amazing eclat, " Detective Keen "
and similar dramas, complete to the last re-
volver and the dumbest telephone. As a spring
pantomime, we rose to " The Critic," in which
I regret to recall that I doubled the parts of
the Beefeater and Tilburina, an arrangement
at which Sheridan would have shuddered.

100 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

On March 19 we even gave a performance
in the Y.M.C.A. just inside the Lille Gate at
Ypres, being (I think) the only theatrical party
that accomplished this. The New Zealanders
there paid courteous attention for a while ;
but the noble work of the master wit might
have found no purchase on their Caledonian
souls, had not the whispering whine of several
gas-shells without caused the heroine suddenly
to dart into the wings, reappearing thence with
a " boxspirator " at the ready. This quite
broke the ice, and all went merrily henceforth.
The next day, I believe, a gas-shell pitched on
the billiard-table there, and a few days later
the hut itself was wrecked. Even as we spoke
the mocking lines, " England's fate, like a
clipped guinea, trembles in the scales," the
fact indeed was so.

Thursday, 21st (Vernal Equinox), is full of
notes of a conference on moral education, one
of a series we were holding in the House on
Thursdays. Down south the storm was then
bursting in its full fury, and locally we had cause
to guess as much, since the whole area had been
painfully lively for a week past ; and long-
range guns were distributing a daily massage

1918 101

of peculiar potency upon our back areas.
Both Cyril's crash and the Quiet Day elsewhere
referred to occurred in this week.

On Sunday, 24th, small congregations ruled
— only twenty-six making their Communion.
The Sunday night was highly electric, and
Pepys refers to rats in the kitchen — which
means, I think, that he moved his bed down-
stairs. On Lady Day a confidential letter
came through from A.H.Q., conveying with
characteristic kindness a word of warning from
ipsissimus ipse against any concentration of
troops in Talbot House. *' Ypres," so the
letter runs, " may soon be a far safer place
than Poperinghe." Two days later my beloved
Conductor for the Three Hours was prohibited
from coming ; the good reasons underlying
this bad news being inculcated during the day
by a tremendous daylight pounding of the
switch road near the Proven junction.
Pettifer and I came in for a pinch of this,
as we went down to scrounge lunch off the
Area Commandant of S. Jans der Biezen.*

* Colonel Lord Saye and Sele. It was said that an
M.F.P. once asked him in Poperinghe for his pass, and
upon its presentation asked hesitatingly : '' Excuse me, sir,
but which of these gentlemen are you ?"

102 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

A road normally more peaceful it would be
hard to imagine, and we began to bowl along
it, congratulating ourselves on the lorry that
had picked us up, when we ran into a heavy
entanglement of signal wires lying athwart
the road. Thinking no evil, we dismounted ;
when a roar like an excursion train full of
shouting holiday-makers, followed by a black
volcano of earth, opened our eyes to the
reason why H.M. Signals were awry. There
is no loneliness so depressing and yet so stimu-
lating as that of a road deserted on account of
shelling.

The bombardment continued throughout the
whole of the next day, being Wednesday in
Holy Week. On Maundy Thursday it was
intermittent; and I see that the Education
Conference tackled "Lessons in Biology." On
Good Friday there were only twenty at the
Three Hours Service, and, mindful of warnings,
we avoided a big evening lantern service in the
House. On Saturday, among other things some
Easter offerings of timber for the dug-out are
noted ; and on Easter Day at all the services
only a hundred made their Communion in
the House. Our Easter Sunday supper

1918 103

was a merry meal to which about ten,
both officers and men, sat down. These
small and wisely mixed Sunday suppers had
become by this time a regular institution,
the founders of the feast being chiefly a
Norfolk major, Harry Jago of the Devons, and
myself.

Jago was a great joy to us all at this
anxious time ; indeed, it is impossible to
imagine him anywhere at any time without
the same thing being truly said of him. He
had come in first as if by accident ; and from
that time onwards leapt by sheer splendour of
character into a great place in our common
life. I remember well one afternoon when
the Devons, down from Passchendaele the
night before, announced their return first by
the visit of two young West-Countiy lads,
who arrived with a present of books from a
faithful sergeant. A few minutes later they
were at tea, when the door of my room again
opened to admit their major. Seeing their
awkwardness, nothing would content him but
that he should seat himself between them and
draw them out both as their share in the past
week's work and their Devonian lore. Beneath

104 1 ALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

a manner ; :o young and irresistible there lay a
nature deep and clear as crystal, with great
selfless ambitions, and a latent reserve of
strength such as is seldom encountered.
Talks far into the night let me see something
of this depth and intensity ; and when, later
in the summer, the news came of the
day when " the whole battalion, colonel,
28 officers, and 552 non-commissioned officers
and men, isolated and without hope of
assistance, held on to their trenches north of
the river, and fought to the last with
unhesitating obedience to orders,"* we knew
that all the trumpets had sounded for them on
the other side.

Concerning the lives of such men I know no
better epitaph than the great saying of Sir
John Smyth to Lord Burghley on the men in
Flanders (1589-90) : " Consider the thousands
of brave English people that have been con-
sumed by sea and land within these few years ;
which have not been rogues, cut-purses, horse-
stealers, committers of burglary, nor other
sorts of thieves, as some of our captains and

♦ Citations from Orders of the Day, No. 371 of the
Fifth French Army.

1918 105

men of war, to excuse themselves, do report.
But, in truth, they were young gentlemen,
yeomen and yeomen's sons, and artificers of
the most brave sort, such as went voluntary to
serve of a gaiety and joyalty of mind ; all which
kind of people are the flower and force of a
kingdom."* " Gaiety and joyalty of mind . . .
the flower and force of a kingdom " — of a truth
these are riches which constitute the true
wealth of nations ; and they who speak only
of the loss of life fail to realise how the
examples thus set of constancy and noble love
sweeten for ever the spirit of the country that
has bred them.

From Easter onwards the sky darkened as
the spring came in. But the spirits of the
Army rose to meet the emergency. Divisions,
weary and depleted, held grimly on. Training-
schools were broken up and their staffs rein-
forced their old battalions, or, merged into
some new and strange formation, stopped the
gaps. My old friends from Leamington, t

* I am indebted for this citation to a W.E.A. pamphlet
by R. H. Tawney.

t 213 (A.T.) R.E. Company, under Captain Pengelley,
M.C., who himself was killed.

106 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

who for years had formed the choir, fought as
infantry in Tupper Carey's force at heavy
cost. Locally, as yet, the storm had not
broken ; but Poperinghe became less and less
attractive. Casualties in the little town
increased daily, and rumours of a general
retirement preyed upon our spirits. But even
in the very gravity of the situation certain
elements of humour were discovered. The
numbers selected by fancy for the rafts on
which we spoke of embarking, when our
flight reached the coast, and the imagina-
tive information as to pleasant moorings for
the summer months, became the fashionable
talk. Details of delightful billets, hastily
vacated by units of a retiring disposition,
formed a second topic of cheerful badinage.

On the night of April 12 some enormous
shells dug craters the size of cottages at the
junction of the Rue de Pots and the switch
road. On the following day the Proven Road
became impassable for hours on end. On
April 16 our line was withdrawn closer to
Ypres than ever before, dug-outs and roads
being blown up before abandonment. On the
26th Kemmel fell, and the great wave of

) ) , 3 •>

X w

H

o

1918 107

battle surged against the foot of the chain of
low hills that had hitherto scarce heard an
echo of the war. Around Poperinghe, and
far back into the hinterland, lines of defence
were dug and even manned. An immense
engineering feat, no less than the construction
of a big strategic railway from St. Momelin
to Bergues, was swiftly and silently completed.
Great tracts of country between Dunkirk and
St. Omer were inundated, and the young
crops stood like slender bulrushes amid the
rising floods. The calamity of war fell lightly,
however, on peasants, who lost their labours
only for a season. Its full force came upon
those who now filled every road with a throng,
hapless and homeless, of every age least fitted
for such experiences, and contriving with a
dogged despair to burden themselves yet
further with belongings that none but the
poorest would thus essay to preserve. Hideous
and detestable as trench warfare was, a war of
movement, so glibly desired by the critics on
both sides, has for the civilian population the
terrors of a tornado, and tenfold its precipitancy
and power. Yet even here there were flashes
of fun to be had, as, for instance, in the story

108 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

of the doings of a Scotch officer who received
an appointment with the unique title of Official
Persuader to the Corps. It was his diplomatic
task to persuade those peasants who clung to
their menaced homes that, while the British
Army was invincible, they would themselves
be wise to retire forthwith into France.'**'
Rumour said — obviously untruly — that, find-
ing the Scots tongue useless in this labour, he
had recourse to more subtle means ; and that
the children were bribed with centimes to
cross the barrier into France in search of
hypothetic sweet stores. Once there, their
inability to return brought their parents after
them.

Poperinghe was now systematically evacu-
ated. Civilians were evicted as the casualties
among them were daily increasing, and institu-
tions such as cinemas were closed down. The
Officers' Club, to the great distress of Sergeant-
Major Hutton, its manager, was closed, and
the doors of Talbot House alone remained
open. Already we had received notice to quit,

* This crossing of the frontier just beyond Proven en-
tailed exclusion from repatriation during the rest of the

war. ■ifjl ,s?*!s^ ,4THi'> wi ^a r

1918 109

but this order had been postponed in operation
through the kind offices of the A. P.M., who,
knowing the situation on the spot, saw that
the existence of Talbot House was at this
juncture essential from a provost point of
view ; for, with all the doors shut, troops still
entering the town would be driven to disorder,
and for the matter of that the closing of an
institution so well known as Talbot House was
in a real sense harmful to the general morale.
Our staff was, however, reduced, and with
those left to us we prepared to stand a siege.

On Sunday, April 14, my opposite number
from Little Talbot House in Ypres arrived
late at night with his two orderlies and a
strange miscellany of sacred and secular salvage.
A few days later Dr. Magrath, of Y.M.C.A.,
Ypres, who longer than any living man survived
residence in that amazing city, joined forces
with us also. Between us we reorganised the
House's work to meet the new conditions.
The chapel was moved downstairs, entrances
and cellars were heavily tortified — again the
patriotic pamphlets were admirable for filling
sandbags. One shell carried away the stage
of the concert-hall, and two more landed in

110 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

the garden; a bomb penetrated the water-
conduit ; but the House continued in the
greatest happiness to administer comfort,
natural and supernatural, to troops still
moving through the deserted town. The
most valuable fittings had already been re-
moved into safety, thanks to our friends in
the Railway Operating Department ; so that
if the Kaiser had succeeded in reaching the
town suddenly one morning for breakfast,
according to his announced intention, Talbot
House would scarcely have provided him with
suitable accommodation.

During these weeks the orders for our closing
were frequently repeated, but we put the
telescope to the blind eye. To close, when
there was still much to be done that there
was no one else to do, was a tragedy which
only the soul of a hireling could sustain. We
took every possible precaution for the safety
of our customers, whose gratitude increased
as their numbers grew less. Finally, on Whit-
Tuesday, May 21, we received imperative orders
to leave at once ; and so, with great sadness,
the doors of the dear old House were closed
for the first time in their happy history.

1918 111

And since this tale is of the House alone, or
at least desires to be so, there is no need here
to follow the fortunes of the exiles.

Of our subsequent re-opening on Septem-
ber 30, and of certain storms in certain tea-
cups which ensued upon our civiHan habit
of acting for the best without orders in writing,
the tale need not be told. In October the
House was left almost high and dry, and
though its work continued till January of this
present year, when its lawful owner re- occupied
it, those in whose service it had laboured and
whose love it had claimed were either far
beyond a border so long unbreakable, or across
a bourne whence no traveller may return. Yet
that they loved it is enough ; and that it is
true that they did so many letters witness, and
memories more than life- long.

To have known these men, to have thought
their thoughts, to have ministered in any way
to their few necessities, to have stood to them
as a symbol of home and joy in hours when
they else had neither — this it was given in a
measure to the old House to do, and to be for
three dark years a pupil-teacher in the school
of love.

112 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

CHAPTER X

THE INNKEEPER
Bv L. F. BROWNE, Captain R.A.M.C.

" A semely man our hoste was with-alle

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ *

Bold of his speech and wys, and wel y taught,
And of manhood him lakkede right naught,
Eek therto he was right a mery man."

Chaucer.

But what of Boniface himself ? The good
Prince of innkeepers would recognise mine host
of Talbot House as not the least among his
children. A history of the House would be
incomplete without some delineation of the
characteristics of the publican himself, so a
physician has taken up the task, despite the
objections of Boniface.

My only qualification for the task is that for
almost a year I was in daily contact with the
subject of this chapter. Having a practice of
a very suburban character among R.E.'s who

THE inn-keepp:r.

THE INNKEEPER 113

were building broad gauge railways, I had a
certain amount of spare time which was devoted
to various forms of labour in connection with
the House.

My first sight of Boniface was early in
September 1916, when a little bowed old figure
celebrated the Eucharist in the Upper Room.
It was new to me to find one so absorbed in his
great task that he was obviously oblivious of
his congregation.

He had just returned from a few months'
convalescence at the Base, during which Talbot
House passed through many vicissitudes.

I had visited the House in August and found
it practically empty. Then Neville Talbot
appeared one Sunday and announced that a
most wonderful padre was soon to return to
the House which he had helped to create.

At that Communion service Boniface ap-
pealed for helpers. So I went and routed him
out in the Officers' Club next morning. There I
found that the little bowed old figure was really
a juvenile like myself. We sat in the garden
behind the Club and talked for hours. I dis-
covered very soon that the situation was rather
serious, for a fiat had gone forth that Talbot

8

114 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

House was to be closed unless audited accounts
were produced w^ithin a fortnight. Apparently
Army Headquarters had different ideas about
finance from those which held sway in Talbot
House.

But who was to do this auditing of accounts ?
It seemed a simple undertaking at first sight,
so I offered my services. Investigation showed
how rash I had been ; I had rushed in where
any sensible angel would very carefully have
refrained from treading. The account book
was exhibited to me with pride, not unjustifi-
able so far as its size and material went. Within,
it was ruled after the approved fashion of the
modern account book. But there the re-
semblance ceased. Genius had ignored the
fettering lines and columns which bind and
hamper ordinary mortals. There were five or
six headings written across the page — '' Furni-
ture," " Garden," " House Expenses," " Enter-
tainments," and one or two other items which I
have now forgotten. Then there was a column
for receipts. In this column there continually
occurred the item *' Found in officers' box,"
20 frs. or 100 frs., and so on. At first sight it
appeared that a dishonest innkeeper was

THE INNKEEPER 115

brazenly entering the results of his midnight
researches in the baggage of his guests.
Enquiry, however, showed that this really
referred to the money placed in a box by the
officers who used to stay the night at Talbot
House in early days. This formed a consider-
able source of revenue.

A glance at this amazing book was followed
by the enquiry, " I suppose you have got
receipts corresponding to these entries?" " Oh
yes," replied Boniface, " there is a whole cup-
board full of them," and he flung open a
cupboard in the wall as he spoke. Truly the
cupboard was full — full of scraps of dirty paper
with inscriptions in French and Flemish and
English. Old receipts from Hazebrouck, St.
Omer, Dunkirk, Bailleul, and Boulogne showed
how far the range of purchase had spread. But
there was no order or system in the whole.

Anyhow, Army Headquarters was informed
that the accounts were being audited and that
was the main thing.

A fortnight's work showed that the receipts
produced did not approach the expenditure by
some thousands of francs. A good many trans-
actions had evidently taken place by cash alone.

116 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Audited accounts could not, alas, be produced,
but fortunately the financial conscience at Army
Headquarters had gone to sleep again, so all
was well. Audited accounts were not produced
and the House was not closed. Most satisfactory.

But, strangely enough, further probing after
several months revealed the fact that the House
had been the gainer to a large extent by the
" defalcations " of the innkeeper.

While I am on the subject of finance I must
mention that bogey which constantly haunted us
when a full blown Committee came into being,
presided over by a Quartermaster-General.
Large purchases were constantly being made
from Gamages, and their bills were frequently
coming in. I would question P. B. C. very
sternly, ''Are you sure this is all we owe to
Gamages ?" An affirmative reply would send
me to the Committee with the assurance that
£30 would clear us entirely of debt so far as
Gamages was concerned. The Olympians would
agree to this payment, with the severe proviso
that no more purchases should be made without
official sanction. I was so reduced in morale that
I was willing to promise anything. P. B. C. was
always kept out of the way of this Committee,

THE INNKEEPER 117

as his life was not considered safe at the hands
of such dangerous men. A week or ten days
would elapse, when a plaintive voice would greet
me with : " Here's another bill from Gamages,
but it's only a small one, £20." " But I thought
the last bill brought us up to date ?" '* Yes,
but this is for things which 1 ordered just before
the Committee meeting."

The old account book frequently contained
the entry, "Taken from cash box, 400 frs."
This meant that P. B. C. had managed to get a
lift to Boulogne one fine day. The correct
procedure on these occasions was to empty the
cash box, and sally forth to make purchases for
the House — the joy of acquisition was always
worth experiencing. The results of these ex-
peditions were always exciting, both from the
point of view of the wrecked accounts and
from the point of view of the wonderful things
produced.

Talbot House presented a most perfect
illustration of "a round peg in a round hole."
Those who know our innkeeper in the flesh
have realised how round the peg was. But
rotundity was no bar to activity : while activity
was no bar to rotundity.

118 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

A pair of spectacles with large black rimmed
glasses ; a short substantial figure ; a rather
innocent expression on the kindly face — all
these combined to make a living embodiment
of Mr. Chesterton's famous Father Brown.

Clothing was always a trial — buttons would
persist in coming off, breeches would gape at
the knees, shirt cuffs would wear out — but after
all an iimkeeper of the highest order has no
time to dally with such details of artificial
civilisation, so my efforts to secure some sort
of average tidiness were in vain.

The House was generally a scene of great
hilarity, for Boniface was always full of fun.
At our tea parties in his room he would offer
some nervous youth a box of matches, in which
all the matches were stuck to the bottom of
the box. Another man would strike a match
which was only intended to smoulder. Concerts
and debates showed the innkeeper at his best,
when his deep voice sang rollicking songs,
or his quaint repartee rendered the House
weak with mirth. Always ready for a rag, he
found kindred spirits in many men who felt
the need of letting off steam in practical jokes.
I remember going with him on May-day 1917

THE INNKEEPER 119

to Bergues, where he ran riot in the quiet old
town, and might have been seen walking
through the streets carrying a wooden horse
which he was taking back to Poperinghe. ^^
Some of the notices of the House have been
mentioned, but I must add one which is well
worth recording. A sapper had been helping
him with some job in his room one day, and by
mistake had left his own penknife behind and
had taken that belonging to Boniface. Next
day a notice appeared :

" If the Sapper who helped me yesterday, and left
his penknife in my room, will apply to me he will
receive two apologies —

1. An apology for the trouble I am giving him.

2. The apology for a knife which he left behind.""

His energies and activities were so great that
he never rested. Whether he was making his
weekly pilgrimage to the " slums " to visit his
beloved batteries, or whether he was actually
in the House, his work never ceased. Occasion-
ally disaster overtook him in the shape of " a
temperature," and then my turn came. There
would be a battle from which I emerged
triumphant, while Boniface retired to bed.
Our great dread was '* evacuation to the Base,"

120 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

so every endeavour was made to prevent his
being sent to a Medical unit. On two or three
occasions I looked after him myself, but once
the kindly CO. of a Field Ambulance, which
was billeted close by, lent us a nursing orderly
twice a day. But Boniface could never under-
stand why the stream of visitors should not
continue even though he was in bed. " Gunner
Smith is coming down from Ypres and I shall
be very disappointed if 1 do not see him ; and
there is that splendid Sergeant Jones of the
R.E.'s who is coming in to tea." In the end
I had to put a notice on his door forbidding
anyone to enter. Then Boniface turned his
face to the wall in anguish of spirit, and I,
feeling that it had been better if I had never
been born, sat in the next room and read
Macbeth.

To make quite sure that no one could disturb
him when his temperature was about 105, I
put the old " General " on duty at his door to
keep out anyone who might ignore the notice.
On returning in the evening I was touched to
find the General *' asleep at his post " in a chair.
He had probably been up all the night before,
but he wakened up covered with confusion,

THE INNKEEPER 121

rather feeling that he had let down the tradition
of The Buffs. However, when 1 came back at
the same time next evening I was seized by
the arm in the dim light, while a hoarse voice
whispered : " You can't go in, Sir ; it's the
Doctor's orders." It was flattering to feel that
my instructions were being so faithfully carried
out after the lapse of the previous day.

During one of these spells in bed the Corps
Commander of the period arrived on a surprise
inspection. He was an officer of sanitary
instincts, and I had the pleasure of taking him
round. He made scathing remarks on the
insanitary condition of the House, as evidenced
by an empty matchbox lying in the garden.
I sympathised with him most heartily, and
experienced all the delights of being '* Army "
and not " Corps," so that my connection with
Talbot House was entirely unofficial and irre-
sponsible. Then I suggested that he might
visit the patient, and the thrilling spectacle was
witnessed of a very self-possessed publican
being visited by a rather bashful Corps Com-
mander whose bedside manner was a trifle
stiff.

Only one who had no idea of time or space

122 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

or money could possibly have carried on at
Talbot House. P. B. C. regarded time as an
arbitrary division of the day ; space was better
ignored. One of his favourite dicta, on which
he acted with great fidelity, was " the only way
to arrive in time is to start out late : if you start
punctually you will probably never arrive."
Occasionally he actually proved this by
experience.

But it was this spirit which enabled him to
cope with hundreds of men without ever making
anyone feel that he was de trop. Many a time
I have sat in that room of his at Talbot House
and watched a succession of men coming in,
many of them tired and jaded after a tramp
from ** Wipers." " My dear old man, how ripping
to see you." Boniface had the true spirit of
hospitality which put the most awkward man
at his ease, and made him feel that here was
one who really cared nothing for a man's stripes
but would be the same to all. Many a man
sore from some injustice, or homesick and
weary, has received the cup of cold water in
" His Name " in that lower room, just as
thousands received the "Cup of Blessing" from
the same hands in the Upper Room.

THE INNKEEPER 123

How much this welcome was appreciated by
those who received it is well shown by the
thousands of men who flocked to the House
every week. Shy lads from Devon and
Somerset, men from Northumberland and
Durham, awkward, but keen and intelligent,
self-possessed Londoners, men from Australia,
Canada, and New Zealand, all fell under the
same spell. Truly love is all powerful, and it
was the power of an unselfish love for them
which brought these men back to the House
over and over again. I remember one hot
Sunday afternoon in June while a lot of us
were sitting at tea in the House, a great burly,
red-haired Australian gunner arrived on a push
bike from Armentieres. He had only come to
see the padre for a few minutes. As a matter
of fact he had exactly half-an-hour, which he
had to share with other people, but he went
away with a light in his eyes which mirrored
the feelings within.

It is wonderful how the childlike spirit
appeals to men — or at any rate to the best men.
It seems to have the power of drawing out the
very best that every man possesses. An
infinite belief in human nature, especially in

'/ \ /.

124 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

the men of the B.E.F., enabled P. B. C. to get
into the real " back-shop " of most men's minds.
He was able to lift them up out of the sordid-
ness of their surroundings and set them on
their feet again. He was able to take them to
the top of the House as the sisters did to Chris-
tian in "the Palace, the name of which was
Beautiful," and show them " the most pleasant
country called Immanuel's Land." Indeed,
Talbot House was to the B.E.F. in the Salient
what the House Beautiful was to the pilgrims
in Bunyan's wonderful " Similitude of a
Dream."

From the House many a man, after resting
awhile in the chamber which is called Peace,
went on his way ready to fight victoriously
against Apollyon, the Prince of the Powers of
Darkness.

The B.E.F. rightly inculcated in men the
idea of caution, but at Talbot House we trans-
literated the familiar French warning and wrote
up : " Plaisez-vous, confiez-vous, les oreilles de
TAmi vous ecoutent."

And Boniface followed his men about and
visited them whenever he could. He felt that
his work at Talbot House was too safe, so he

THE INNKEEPER 125

did what he could to share the hardships and
dangers of his customers.

The spirit of laughter and prayer filled the
House, and the innkeeper showed to his guests
the qualities of the Friend and Lord of the
House.

Is it too much to hope that London may
have its Talbot House with Boniface to
welcome all comers and cheer them on their
way?

Footnote by Boniface. — Confusion covers my face as I
read Chapter X. for the first time in proof. It found its
way in unknown to me by a kindly conspiracy between
Dr. Browne, Lieutenant E. G. White, and the publishers ;
and it would be churlish to eject it now. But that fisher-
man deserves to fail who allows his eager shadow to stand
between the sunlight and the stream. — P. B. C.

APPENDIX I

SOME RELICS OF THE NOTICE-BOARD

Most of the notices that at various times dis-
figured the board in the hall of the House have
very properly perished. Here, however, are a few
survivors.

P. B. C.

UNWELCOME VISITORS.

Welcome yourself to Talbot House. We don't put
"salve'' mats on the doorstep, but have a salvage
dump next door to make up for it. But we want you
to feel it is true of your arrival just the same. For
you are surely not one of those who —

(1) Imagine the House has an off-licence for maga-
zines, stationery, etc. — e.g.^ I put a current number of
Nash's magazine in a cover, heavily stamped, on the
first floor last week. In twenty-four hours the cover
was empty. This is how misanthropes are made.

(2) Imagine we have the Y.M.C.A. or some unlimited

APPENDIX I 127

funds at our back. At present we are trying hard (like
my Sam Browne does) to make two ends meet. Three
noble Divisions (55th, 39thj 38th) help us from their
funds. But otherwise we are in a bad way. My tie-pin
was in pawn long ago : and even the House is in Pop.

Writing materials for use in the Housejcost some £6
a month, so that he who departs with his pockets full
of envelopes is guilty of what Mr. Punch calls " Teuton
conduck."

(3) Woe worth the imbecile, who begins three letters
one after another on three sheets of paper, with a fourth
to try nibs and fancy spelling on ; and with one large
boot on a fifth sheet, and the other on a pad of blotting-
paper, splashes ink about like a cuttle-fish (is it ?), and
draws a picture (libellous, we hope) of " my darling
Aggie " on a sixth sheet, and then remembers that he
really came in to play billiards.

*****

The House aims at reminding you a little tiny bit of
"your ain folk."" Hence pictures, flowers, and freedom-
Help to strengthen the illusion of being of a Club-able
spirit.

This is not a G.R.O., but just a G.R.O.U.S.E. by
the poor old Chaplain.

128 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

NATIONAL SYMPTOMS

ON SICK PARADE.

1. The Irishman :

" Och, docther dear, I'm kilt intoirely."

:

% The Scotchman :

" Ah'm no varra weel the

s'mornin'.'*'

3. The Efiglishman :

" I don't know what can

be wrong with

me. /

can't eat.""

NOTICE.

In honour of the return of Paddy (Pte. Flynn) from
leave to his post on the staff of the House, the following
chestnut is issued to all concerned :

Scene : Irish parade-ground.

Drill Sergeant : " Now then, Rafferty, get those
big feet of yours in line, can't you !'*'

Pte. Rafferty : " Arrah ! Sergeant, they're no my
feet at all, at all. They're Pte. Murphy's in the back
row."

APPENDIX 1 129

OUR ANIMAL KINGDOM.

Have you been formally introduced to —

Kitten, one, white, camouflaged. Belgique by parent-
age, but British (as the catechism says) by adoption
and grace. It enjoys the war enormously, and is far
too busy getting dirty to have time to spare for getting
clean. It has a limited but vivacious repertoire of
performances and has betrayed several Scotsmen into
forgetting themselves so far as to smile.

The Love Birds. Their names " Hunter " and
" Bunter " are, as Sam Weller said of the sausage,
" wrapt in mystery.'"* Hunter is plain in appearance ;
Bunter is spot. They came from Boulogne in a five ton
lorry, and do nothing in particular, but do it very well.

The Jackpie or Magdaw. His name is Jacko ; and
his diet bully beef and collar studs. He came from a
reserve trench at Elverdinghe : we clipped his wings
on arrival, since when he flies much better than before.
No ! we decline to slit his tongue, in the hope that he
will talk articulately. He talks Welsh perfectly at
present.

April, 19] 7.

130 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

RATS !

On the literary principle by which Mrs. Beeton is
said to begin her chapter on the cooking of apples with
a brief reference to the Fall of Man, this notice should
open with some reference to the anti-episcopal tendencies
displayed by rats in the lamentable food-hoarding case
of the late Bishop Hatto.

But our need is too urgent for literary allusions.

What the House has to face is a plague of rats, all
of them heavy or welter-weight, against Don Whisker-
andos, our cat, who is featherweight only, so can't be
expected to make good.

Wanted therefore ; the loan of a good ratting terrier^
ferrets^ or other rat strafing rodent. A rat seen last
night measured about four feet from stem to stern.

EXCHANGE AND MART.

A handsome, kindly, and middle-aged individual,
who prefers to remain anonymous, finds that his neck
is growing thicker during long years of warfare, with
the result that seventeen-inch shirts and seventeen and
a half collars produce a perpetual strangulation. If this
should catch the eye of any gentleman, upon whose
neck the yoke of the Army life is producing the
contrary effect, an exchange of wardrobe would be to the
welfare of both. Address, P. B. C. F., The Office, T. H.

APPENDIX I 131

HOW NOT TO WIN THE WAR.

Scene 1 : Half way down the garden. Two chairs and
garden table ; with tin board and draughtsmen thereon;
also a rubbish box in foreground.

Enter two gunners with two mugs of tea and a paper
bag of fruit. One gunner upsets draughtsmen on to
the grass, and deposits mug on table. The other amends
this procedure by seating himself on the ground, turning
the half- full rubbish box upside down, and placing his
mug thereon.

Finally, enter Padre : tableau vivant.

Scene 2 : The first floor writing-room. Both windows
tightly closed. Various literary gentlemen busily en-
gaged in caligraphy.

Enter two R.A.M.C. representatives, afraid of too
generous a supply of fresh air on the balcony. Each
carries three magazines, and two books from the library.
These they deposit among the inkpots, pens, and blotting-
paper, and proceed to absorb in a slow but expansive
manner.

Enter more persons desiring to write letters. (Curtain.)

HOW THE WHEELS GO ROUND.

By "I"o"U"Corps.

For the next few days, the total staff of the House

is five, including Jimmy, the presiding magician of the

maconachie. A reasonable complement for the House,

132 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

hall, and garden is eleven, including the canteen. So, if
the antimacassars aren''t watered, or the asphidistras
dusted, or the pot-pourri jars distributed for a few days,
don't think "there's something rotten in the state of
Denmark."

STOP PRESS.

A tidy draft of reinforcements in woolies — i.e., socks,
etc. — has reached T. H. from the ever-generous Mrs.
Fry of Bristol.

Applications for the same should be made to the
Chaplain. All queues prohibited by Sir A. Yapp.
Allotment, one sock per battalion.

January 14, 1918.

NOTICE.

UNSOLICITED TESTIMONIALS FROM PUBLIC MEN
TO TALBOT HOUSE.

The Kaiser wirelesses :

As our good old German Shakespeare says, in the
" Merchant of Vienna '**' (sic !)

" A plague on both your Houses."

APPENDIX I 133

HiLAiRE Belloc remarks, in his monumental work
"The War Hour by Hour, from every Possible and
Impossible, Human and Inhuman Standpoint." (Vol.
666, p. 999.)

''The psychological reasons which led to our long
tenure of the Salient are now increasingly apparent to
all soldiers ; they were not merely international, but
highly domestic y

Henry V. (per the late Lewis Waller) declaims :
" Talbot . . . shall be in their flowing cups freshly
remembered."

Lord Northcliffe dictates :

" Whatever sinister influences may operate at home,
patriotic ardour is, as ever, the temper of our vast
Armies. So eager are our gallant men to meet the
foe, that 1 myself have seen great queues of men
formed up in communication trenches, unable to find
room in the front line. The fierce light of Mars gleams
in every eye. Thus it has been found necessary to
establish counter-attractions to counter-attacks behind
the lines."

Horatio Bottomley speaks out :

" When I left the shell-swept area of General Head-
quarters, the dull reverberation of machine guns made
me, like an old soldier, wrap my gas helmet closer
round my knees. Haig — you may trust him — I say, you
may trust him — said to me : ' Keep your napper down,
old man ; think what your life means to England.' "

134 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

"On our way back, we motored through a small
town, which the General beside me especially asked me
not to specify to my two million readers. We flashed
past the gloomy doorway of a miserable House in a
narrow street. A smug and sour-faced parson stood
in the doorway of this so-called Soldiers' Club, with a
bundle of tracts in one hand and a subscription list in
the other. Mark my words. You know the type.
The so-called Church has not stirred a finger anywhere
in the war-zone for anyone.""*

From the Association of Licensed and Un-
licensed ESTAMINETS:

" We deeply resent the ruinous competition of this
detestable House, which wounds our tenderest suscepti-
bilities. The place must be put Out of Bounds at once.
Verboten Engang."

From an American Ally :

" Gee. Some shanty. What ? If we'd only known,
guess we'd have chipped in three falls back.'"

-p, J A STRAY OFFICER ll "

\a SHY PRIVATE:/

January 25, 1918.

Isn't this an Officers'

Club r

* A fortnight after this was posted, the great Horatio un-
wittingly avenged himself by a painfully laudatory article on
the work of Army Chaplains.

APPENDIX I 135

Scene :

The Wipers'

Road : any time after dark.

Enter Wayfarers (1st

) and (2nd)

1st W. :

"Bill, 'ere^s

a riddle

for you.

What is

a lorry?"

2nd W.

: " Give it up

1)

1st W.

"A lorry 's

a thing

what goes

the other

way."

NOTICE.

Owing to the descent of a meteorite* upon the
electric lighting plant, the House is temporarily re-
duced to the oil and grease expedients of a bygone
age. In regard to the former, gentlemen will please
desist from turning the wick upwards, as the augmen-
tation of the illumination thus secured is extremely
temporary, and results in a soot bath and a cracked
chimney. In regard to the latter, remember what
Shakespeare says about its illuminant attractiveness,
and please draw the blinds.

October 2, 1917.

* Our electric light engine had bad luck in the winter of
1917-18, and was hit by two shells and a bomb successively
within two months.

136 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

HOW TO FIND YOUR BEARINGS ON A
DARK NIGHT WITHOUT A COMPASS.

THIS IS AN OLD SCOUTS TIP :

Take a watch, not your own, tie a string on to it,
swing it round your head three times, and then let
go, saying to the owner : " That's gone West.""

The points of the compass being thus established,
you proceed rapidly in the safest direction.

P. B. C.

HOW TO CHECK BAD LANGUAGE.

This is a splendid story, really requiring a Scotch
accent.

Once upon a time. Doctor Geikie, of Edinburgh, was
crossing the Atlantic on the same ship as a loud-voiced,
foul-mouthed American. One rough day, when every-
one was confined to the smoking-room, the American
told a series of filthy stories, and then turned insolently
to the old Doctor and said :

" I just reckon you haven't added much to our fun,
Doctor.''

" A'weel," said Doctor Geikie, " I'll tell you a story
the noo. Once upon a time, there was a puir wee birrd
that had his nest in a tree by the roadside ; and one
fine day, after a horse passit by, he came to feed on the
droppings. An' when he had his fu', he just skippit

APPENDIX I 187

back to the tree and began to sing. But a boy came
by wi' a wee bit gun, and shot him i' the lug as he sang."

Dead silence, broken by the American.

" Waal, Doctor, if that is the best you can do, I
guess we don't think much of it. None of the boys
see any damned point in your tale at all."

"AVeel," said Doctor Geikie, "the moral, sir, is
surely plain enough to you. If you're full of s — t,
dinna brag about it." j^^ Q^

per P.B.C.

NOTICE.
EXCELSIOR!

The number of otherwise intelligent human beings
who hang about the hall, reading silly notices, and
catching well deserved colds, is most distressing.

An occasional straggler drags himself up the staircase,
generally in futile search for the canteen, which confronts
him in the garden.

Otherwise oil and fuel upstairs waste their sweetness,
and the rooms and pictures their welcome.

COME UPSTAIRS AND
RISK MEETING THE CHAPLAIN.

As Kipling so finely says :

" What shall they know of Talbot House
Who only the ground-floor know ?"

138 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

NOTICE.
''to move or not to move^ that is the question."

Owing to the inconsiderate retirement of our old
neighbours, the Boche, Toe. H. is in a pretty fix. If
we move — e.g.^ to Courtrai — we may be high and dry
by the time we have reached it with all our lorry-loads
of belongings. Also, if the period of demobilisation
is really at hand, this may be an important salvage
centre. And once we vacate the House, we shall never
get it again.

Briefly, therefore, T. H. will remain here for the
present.

For if the Boche goes to Brussels, we shan't cut any
ice in Courtrai.

Or if the Boche goes to Blazes, we shall be wanted
here.

Q. E. D.

But we expect you to get down here somehow, and
see us sometimes. You really must try.

October 20, 1918.

Mi/U'f^

APPENDIX 1 189

Five thousand of these whizzbangs were sent
out in December, 1918.

ANYTHING may be written on this side, the other, by the law
of Ancient Lights, is the private playground of the long-suffering
A.P.S.

/ vote the proposed booklet on Talbot House

(sound ) 1
a J . , \ scheme.

I will I E™ N/6 to j J*^ ^jj J it.

(scrounge) ^^ '

y a means I 'p jj^ should be set up in Town.
On no account] ^

I won't i , f . J h to help,

[leave a stone unturned] ^

XT . 4. r> (exactly right.

You ve ffot my Rank i . . *^ u i

° -^ (unutterably wrong.

I am now a ll^^'Jf ;9''''P/'?H ^""^ ^""^^ ^"^ ^^ discharged
(tield Marshal J soon.

This address will find me i \. I the ] f^^^ [ come home.

Road ,,,,, ,

Town [never]

County Sig.

APPENDIX II

SOME COROLLARIES BY TALBOTOUSIANS

A FEW words of explanation must introduce
the article by Dr. Magrath on Little Talbot
House. The establishment of this daughter
house in Ypres was the tardy fruit of a hope
we had long shared ; and he, with his unrivalled
knowledge of the town, in which he managed
to hve longer than even Town-Major Scott,
did more than any of us to make the dream
come true. The old House had always a
number of faithful friends in Ypres, and early
in 1916 the Military Foot Police on No. 10
Bridge ran a kind of cocoa tavern for sundry
wayfarers, for which a generous friend of
the old House provided the raw materials.
Divisional chaplains held services in the
Infantry Barracks, in a cellar in the Rue de
Dixmude, and in the house which subsequently
became ours ; and in '16 and 17 I held weekly
services on Fridays in the Prison, where the
Town-Major's headquarters were. But co-

140

i^iW

LITTLE TALBOT HOUSE, RUE DE LILLE.
YPRES.

APPENDIX II 141

ordination was difficult, and concentration in
any one spot was plainly inadvisable. In the
autumn of '17, however, the town — or what
was left of it — became comparatively healthy,
and the following notice appeared on Talbot
House board :

LFITLE TALBOT HOUSE

Was born yesterday in Ypres. It stands (more
or less) in Rue de Lille, and was once a large lace
factory. The red brick frontage on the road is
quite imposing, but the back premises are not quite
what they were. However, there are six rooms
upstairs, and a convenient and capacious cellar.

We are sending up some stuff from the old
House, and passers-by must look in and see Mr.
Goodwin, the chaplain in charge.

Church tithe for the present may be paid in
kind, the kind being roofing-iron and sandbags.

Gas and water already laid on.

U/11/17.

The house we secured was one of the only
two still standing in the Rue de Lille — the
Post Office being the other. The first lorry load
of furniture we brought up was blown to bits
by a direct hit on the room in which we had
dumped it, a few hours after its arrival. We

142 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

moistened the lips, and brought up a second
load. With this the House opened, and from
November to April fulfilled its task ideally,
under conditions increasingly dangerous. One
morning, when I arrived on a visit, the House
was literally ringed with new shell-holes ; and
even as Pettifer and I approached it, part of
the outer wall, weakened by continual concus-
sions, fell of its own accord. Yet within, the
work went on uninterruptedly. A few days
before the evacuation we were still hopefully
building and sandbagging the new hall. Then
came the withdrawal from Paschendaele, and
the front line was drawn closer to Ypres than
ever before. With machine guns posted in the
streets, the town billets were evacuated by
order ; and Goodwin and his staff arrived at
Poperinghe late on one Sunday night. After-
wards, he went to Arras, to be chaplain of
St. George's Club.^^

P. B. C.

A.— LIITLE TALBOT HOUSE

It was somewhat cheerless in Ypres in August,
1917, and on one of the most cheerless days at
the end of that month I was introduced by the
146th Battery to a padre who had just arrived.
He looked cheerful ; that was my first impres-

♦ Now (September, 1919) St. George's Club in Paris.

APPENDIX II 143

sion : he wasn't a non-smoker or a temperance
fanatic ; those were my second impressions :
he seemed to fit in ; that was my third impres-
sion. I didn't know I was meeting Little
Talbot House in embryo ; in fact, I had never
heard of it, nor had anyone else, though a few
people had been interested in getting something
of the kind going. But Ypres at the moment
was not propitious. Later on the padre — his
name was R. J. Goodwin — after migrating to
various dug-outs — began to talk about Little
Talbot House, and as a preliminary step came
to live with me in a vast underground fastness
under the Lille Gate Cemetery. Negotiations
for a suitable place resulted in getting the
Lace-School in the Lille Road allotted, and the
business began. Heaven knows — I do not —
whence came the furniture. Some was pinched
from the parent House : the canvas, the chairs
and tables, the paint, the doors, the electric
light fittings (oh yes, we were civilised before
the war stopped ; now we use candles I) et tout
fa. 1 only know that they did come, that they
got sorted, erected and fixed. I remember as
in a dream, one or two hectic afternoons divided
between bumping one's head on the beams in
the cellar, and standing perilously on a rickety
ladder trying to reach something which one
obviously couldn't reach. This consumed most
of the month of November ; in December
R. J. G. " moved in " (i.e., his valise was carried
down the road).

Little Talbot House was a going concern,

144 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

and it did go. The rooms upstairs were
canteen and reading rooms ; downstairs in
the "catacombs" were the chapel — it took
one right back to Rome in a.d. 70 — and the
sleeping billets and kitchen. (Later on, when
things were quieter, the new chapel got going
upstairs, but that was not till March, 1918).
At night the chapel was curtained off, and part
became a reading room.

Of those who found comfort — spiritual and
mental — there, of those who came with troubles,
who came to ask questions on every conceivable
subject, who fed, read, and even slept there,
R. J. G. could tell you himself. Let this only
be recorded by one who was a " gadget," that
there was not a man who came there who did
not go away cheered and brightened, not one
who did not love R. J. G., not one who did
not return when he could.

It was (as time goes) a brief episode ; three
months almost covered it ; Low Sunday, 1918,
saw the House empty, Paschendaele evacuated,
and the Bosches advancing fast on Ypres.
Yes, brief but bright; and only the God in
Heaven knows what fruit that three months
sowing produced.

R. J. G., here's luck to you now and always.
As a helper of lame dogs over stiles, you were
one of the best ; I and hundreds more shall
never forget you and that little oasis in the
lAlle Road.

C. J. M.

APPENDIX II 145

B.

Early in the second year of the war, when
the Ypres salient had settled down to what,
for it, was comparative quiet after the great
battles of October, 1914, and the following
April, the little Belgian town of Poperinghe
became the hub of that part of the universe.
Here the battalions, resting after their turn in
the trenches, sought their recreation, did their
shopping, and were cleansed from the mud and
grime of the trenches in one or other of the
various divisional baths.

The town catered for a great number of
troops ; for, in addition to the battalions and
batteries from the firing-line of the Salient and
to the south of it as far as Messines, there
were, billeted and camped in or near it, the
various departmental corps, hospitals, aircraft
and anti-aircraft units, with most of the
Brigade, Divisional and Corps Headquarters.
Besides all these, the station was rail-head,
which ensured a floating population in addition
to what we might term its permanent military
inhabitants.

The soldiers' recreation was well looked after
— we had a cinema, a pierrot troupe (the famed
Sixth Division " Fancies "), a canteen, football
grounds, etc. — yet a need was soon felt for an
institution which would cater for officer and

10

146 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

soldier alike; which would also serve as a
parish church and institute where quiet times
as well as cheery ones could be enjoyed ; and
also where those who felt their need of that
help and comfort, which, above all, can sustain
and hearten in the day of battle, as well as
during the dreary and comfortless round of
trench duty, could find a place set apart for
quiet prayer and communion.

One of the Sixth Division chaplains set
himself to the task of satisfying this need.
He had himself, in former days, held a com-
mission and seen active service in one of our
most famous regiments, and therefore knew
the soldier and his kind better than most.
The result was that, through his efforts, aided
by the military authorities, a large house was
acquired in the Rue de I'Hopital, Poperinghe,
which was suitably fitted up, and where a
resident chaplain and staff* were installed. It
was named "Talbot House" after its originator,
and opened on December 15, 1915. It at once
became one of the institutions of the B.E.F.,
and its hospitable doors were never closed from
the date of opening until after the conclusion
of hostilities.

Many are the officers and men — the writer
among them — who can look back with grati-
tude and deep appreciation to the happy times
spent at Talbot House — the concerts, tea-
parties, cheery gatherings, jolly talks, and
Christmas carols — and the memories of the
peaceful early morning services in the beautiful

APPENDIX II 147

little chapel, the upper room under the roof,
will remain a lifelong happiness.

A. H. B.-D.

Once commanding First Battalion
Leicester Regiment,

C— AN OUTPOST OF TALBOT HOUSE.

The bounds of Poperinghe were not the
bounds of Talbot House.

It would, perhaps, be accurate to say that
the T.H. atmosphere was strongest in and
around the ancient town, but wherever one
might be in the salient a man, if he so desired,
could get a whiff of its healthy gas.

The writer and his battery were first sub-
jected to an attack of T.H. gas on a certain
Sunday in September, 1916.

That well-known figure, the incumbent of
Talbot House, in the course of his wanderings,
had buttonholed a gunner Q.M.S. in a waggon
line near Vlamertinghe. "Would the Q.M.S.
get a few men together for service on the
following Sunday — ^just a voluntary service to
be held under the lee of a hedge. He knew
what was meant, didn't he ?"

The Q.M.S., being a man of action, went to
the adjutant of the brigade, with the result
that at 2.30 p.m. of a hot Sunday afternoon
a brigade church parade of "all ranks that
could be spared " was held in the waggon lines.

For nearly an hour we waited in the hot sun

148 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

until, patience exhausted, we became more and
more un-Christian in our thoughts, and our
attitude, from being at least neutral, became
distinctly hostile towards all padres, and to
this one in particular.

About 3.25 a perspiring, rotund, and some-
what confused cleric arrived — cheerful in spite
of the black looks of the congregation — and
the service began.

As it proceeded, most of us felt that there
w^as something about this service that one too
often misses in the ordinary church parade —
an indefinable homeliness, a sort of genuine
friendliness — and we wanted another, but not
a compulsory service.

No more parade services were held, but
from that Sunday onwards for the better part
of a year the batteries of that brigade received
the help and felt the influence of Talbot House
even to the furthest limits of the parish, and,
if the truth be told, outside the parish alto-
gether.

If you wend your way down the Vlamer-
tinghe-Ypres road for about three-quarters
of a mile and then look to your left, you will
see in the middle of that dreary wilderness a
cluster of farm buildings in tolerably good
repair. This is or was '* Cat Farm," the then
habitat of the H.-Q. of the 141st (East Ham)
Heavy Battery.

There, every Thursday night, P. B. C. held
a church service in the old barn and afterwards
talked to the men, and every Friday morning

APPENDIX II 149

he held a Communion service in a wonderful
little chapel fitted up in the granary ; and from
thence he went to the Ypres asylum (then
tenanted by a detached section of the battery),
where another short service took place.

Who can tell the value of those simple and
homely services? I am sure few of us will
forget them.

From this battery P. B. C. gradually ex-
tended his sphere of activity to other units
in the brigade, and, though it was seldom that
the gunners could get back to Poperinghe,
when they did have the opportunity of a visit
to Talbot House, they all felt sure of a warm
welcome and a kind word from a true friend.

Several of the officers of 141st Battery went
off to take command of other batteries, and
wherever they went, provided they remained
in the salient, there the indefatigable padre
was sure to follow them, and their new bat-
teries were gathered in to the ever-increasing
flock of Talbot House.

In May, 1917, after thirteen months in the
line, 141st Battery went out to rest at Wissant,
near Calais — thither we were followed by
P. B. C. — back again to the salient at the
end of May, in action at Reigersburg Chateau,
thence to Kruisstraat, and finally to Dormy
House at Zillebeke for the July 31 "push."
Wherever we went we never lost touch with
our padre.

Towards the end of September, 1917, the
battery, after considerable rough handling by

150 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

the Boche, left the saUent, and, except for a
few days at the end of the summer of 1918,
did not return ; but many of its members have
kept up correspondence with our wonderful
little chaplain. They still feel his influence,
and remember with gratitude his visits — visits
made unfailingly, sometimes under shell fire,
sometimes during a gas bombardment ; services
held now in a barn, now in a dug-out, once on
the sands at Wissant, and occasionally in a
gun-pit.

To those of our readers who, glancing
through the above article, and who never
having come under Clayton's magnetic in-
fluence would think the article to be more
of the nature of a biography than an account
of an institution — to these I would say that,
although the bricks and mortar might bear
the name '' Talbot House," the soul and spirit
of the institution was and always will be
Philip Clayton.

"Ubique."

D.

To many of those who in the years 1915-
1919 perforce sojourned a while, more or less
prolonged, in the Ypres salient, and to others
whose war service took them to the little town
familiarly known as " Pop," one memory will
often recur — of a stately mansion in the main
street, whose doors were open to all in khaki.
And inside the weary wayfarer from perhaps

APPENDIX II 151

the Canal Bank or " U " camp, or Dickebusch,
or back from " Blighty," found a real " home
from home," and a welcome from that best
of pals whose spirit suffused all the place.
Were we famished, the tea-urn and those

perennial cakes of M saved our lives ; did

we want "fifty up," the miniature table was
seldom idle ; did we remember that letter
home which hadn't been written, here, in the
language of the French reading-book, were
"the pen, the ink, and the paper"; if we
thirsted for literature, the library (when it was
not crowded out) bade us come and choose,
but not forget to inscribe in the "lent, not
lost" book. Some of us waxed eloquent in
debate on every subject under the sun save
those forbidden by immemorial usage or
" K. R.," and for many the rafters of the
recreation -room rang with the echoes of
" Good-bye-ee " and a host of other tunes.
Which of us will ever forget those cheery tea-
parties, when, no matter how full the room,
there was always space for new-comers ; when
we ate and talked and smoked and chaffed, for
was it not written over the portal, " All rank
abandon, ye who enter here"! And then at
the top of the House, the apex of the life, as
of the visible building, of Talbot House, the
little chapel where we met, whether just " two
or three gathered together" or crowding the
room to overflowing, for the simple service.

May the spirit of comradeship which grew
and throve within those walls long continue.

152 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

whether in the new Talbot House, of which
we dream in London, or wherever Briton and
Anzac, Canadian and South African, meet in
the years to be.

G. Brimley Bowes, Major,
Chairman, Talbot House Committee^ 1917-18.

Cambridge, May, 1919.

E.— IN SPITE OF HIMSELF.

One of the j oiliest feelings I know is to find
that you haven't utterly forgotten how to do
something you've not done for years. There's
a subtle moral value, for instance, in the dis-
covery that you can still play indifferent
billiards ; your very miss-cue has a precious
personal flavour. You remember that, some-
where tucked away under the everlasting
khaki and the eternal sameness of badges and
numerals, is a thing called *'me," which is
somehow different from all the other things
called "you." One of the best turns you can
do for a man is to give him a chance of ex-
periencing this feeling. It keeps him alive.

That is what Talbot House was always
doing. Books once familiar nodded from
their shelves, reminding you, with comforting
flattery, that you were still part of their world.
A deep chair almost embraced you — and you
woke with a start, rubbing the dreams from
your eyes. There's a wealth of solace for the

APPENDIX II 153

mind in a real chair, a sense of possession
which is almost regal. These things are
symbols. They were a real part of the
scheme ; they helped you to feel that you
were not just a cog in the machine of war,
but a person with likes and dislikes, a standard
of comfort, and, oddest of all, a mind ! In
their degree they, too, ministered consolation.

There's nothing like a debate for shaking off
mental cramp. To an old hand, condemned
for years to the silence of the ranks or the
boredom of shouting phrases which you mayn't
vary by a hair's breadth, it is almost a fierce joy.
There's a moment of horrid trembling at the
knees when you first rise, and then you plunge
headlong. Happy is he who, after a few
fumbling sentences, falls unconsciously into
his stride, and dear to his heart is the applause
with which a generous audience rewards the
effort, however " footling." This, too, we owed
to Talbot House.

My excuse for the following story must be
that, if I had the wit to do it justice, it holds
an element of humour. It was not of set
purpose that I found myself pledged to stop
a gap. I had been gazing absent-mindedly at
the announcement of a debate, on which the
opposer's name had been newly erased — even
debates must yield to the necessities of war.
Suddenly I felt a pressure on my arm, kindly,
persuasive, but infinitely compelling. Some-
one suggested — oh ! so tactfully — that I was
exactly the person he was in search of, and

154 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

hinted that I might yet save a difficult situa-
tion. It's horribly '* intriguing " to be wanted
as an individual and not just as "one other
ranks." There's a subtle flattery about it
which scatters objections and modesties, like
the paving-stones of the Grande Place before
the snub and solid nose of an 8-inch "A. P."
Of course, I yielded. Can you show me a man
who didn't ?

Two days later, as I crawled self-consciously
through the ever-open door, I'd have given a
week's pay to get out of it. My head w^as
spinning like a top ; my knees were a striking
illustration of the " make-and-break " action
of the armature of a Service " buzzer."
Thoughts I had none.

It consoled me a little to find that the
debate was in the open air. The chairman's
" Order ! order !" produced a horrid silence.
My opponent, calm, confident, persuasive, piled
up argument upon argument. My brain reeled.
I covered an old envelope with frenzied jottings
in a vain attempt at coherence. All too soon
he sat down, smothered in applause. I heard
my own name. I rose, clutching the arm of
my chair.

The imps that had taken possession of me
did a war-dance on my brain — a crew of merry
rebels. I swallowed vigorously — and plunged.
I shall never know what I said. My opponent
afterwards compared my effusion to " a seance
by Mrs. Besant " ! I don't know whether that
was meant as a compliment or a protest. . . .

APPENDIX II 155

The war-dance stopped, and I sat down. The
rest of the evening is indistinct. I have a
vision of a hundred men, at a word of command
from the chairman, flocking over to my side
of the House, whether with intent to mob me,
or to give me much-needed support, I could
hardly say.

I reached home safely. Next day people
came and asked to borrow books about it. 1
assured them that for years I'd read nothing
but London Opinion or at best John Bull.
They looked a little hurt. I hope I was nice
to them. They wouldn't tell me what I had
said. That, patient* [impatient] reader, is the
most accurate account I can give of an event
which will always be a mystery to me. On
one point I am clear — in my immeasurable
debt to Talbot House, I must include a most
remarkable experience.

Hf * * m *

Perhaps, for the honour of the House, I
should add a word of explanation. I had not
tasted that evening of the waters of forgetful-
ness, but the night before I had unexpectedly
been treated to a double dose of T.A.B.

John H. Nicholson.

* Strike out word inapplicable.

156 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

R— THE WITxNESS OF A WAYFARER
TO TALBOT HOUSE.

{Reprinted with permission from " The Direct Hit.")

FIRST GLIMPSE.

Voices of many soldiers,
And plenteous light ;
Warmth, comfort and a shelter
Out of the night.
How everyone seems happy,
And all their faces bright.

THE STAIRWAY.

Oh, pretty painted lady
That looks out from yon frame.
You're more to me than canvas ;
More than an artist's name.

There's something in your smile, dear,
That calls to me to come ;
You grace my mother's table
At home I at home !

THE BALCONY.

There is no balcony above the blue
Soft lapping waters of a still lagoon ;
Where maidens wonder if their lads be tru ,
And will come soon.

APPENDIX II 157

Nor from the ground does Romeo's loving song
Thrill the night air to tell his Juliet
That though true lovers' paths be hard and long,
He'll not forget.

More beautiful is this. Those few green trees,
Among whose branches vagrant breezes roam,
Tell of grey towns, green fields and sparkling

seas.
That men call Home,

THE LIBRARY.

Behold ! all ye who want companions fair
For half a day, a day, perhaps a week,
Enter and take your choice, for here you find
The very book (or books) your soul doth seek.
Love you far shores ? here's tales of distant lands ;
Or incident ? here's history to your hands.
Or do you love the men who nobly live ?
Biographies shall satisfaction give ;
Fiction, to lose yourself a quiet hour ;
Training, to give your body grace and power ;
Poetry, with her poppied embrace ;
Religion, to give your spirit grace ;
Oh ! all you men who recreation seek
Come, choose your boon companion for a week.

THE CHAPEL.

Here is a quiet room !
Pause for a little space ;
And in the deepening gloom
With hands before thy face,
Pray for God's grace.

158 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Let no unholy thought

Enter thy musing mind ;

Things that the world hath wrought —

Unclean — untrue — unkind —

Leave these behind.

Pray for the strength of God,
Strength to obey His plan ;
Rise from your knees less clod
Than when your prayer began,
More of a man.

FINIS.

Refreshment, rest and cheer for all those men

Who hapless roam.

And over all — a touch of sanctity —

A breath of home.

Donald Cox.

A London Divisimi.

APPENDIX III

TALBOT HOUSE FOR TRAFALGAR SQUARE.

{Reprinted from '^ St. Martin's Messenger," April, 1919.)

POPERINGHE TO TRAFALGAR SQUARE.

Depose Nelson, remove the column, ungum
the lions, deduct the fountains, wash out the
National Gallery, and cease to visualise White-
hall ; then roll the surface flat (except for
execrable pave), and, with these trifling altera-
tions, Trafalgar Square becomes the Grande
Place of Poperinghe.

You must also, by-the-bye, rebuild St. Martin's,
and put a shell-hole through its tower, and a
clock that declares for years on end that it is
always half-past five, thus reminding us of
human fallibility in high quarters.

The real similarity between the two places
is, however, more readily realisable, for Poper-
inghe Square was for four years to the B.E.F.
what Trafalgar Square is to London — a big

159

160 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

place through which well-nigh every man must
pass on his pilgrimage ; an open place wherein
he takes his first or last or intermediate breather
before getting to business ; near enough to the
scene of work to warrant and to provoke a
pause ; remote enough to make the pause a
pleasure reasonably immune from accident.

Thus it comes that I, who was for the most
of that time vicar of the Poperinghe St. Martin's
(or rather of the dissenting chapel adjacent),
find myself writing for the real aS'^. Martins
Messenger,

Talbot House (so called after Gilbert Talbot,
who died at Hooge) was set up in Poperinghe
in December, 1915. It had been the large
house of a wealthy — need I say ? — brewer, to
whom we have now handed it back more or
less intact. It became a happy, homely house-
hold of faith — a kind of Emmaus Inn, whence
drooping spirits, revived by processes natural
and supernatural, went back to face whatever
might befall the bodies that contained them.

Come along in and have a look round.

Don't dally with the doormat ; it is accus-
tomed to neglect.

Here is the entrance hall. On the left hand
its walls are covered with maps, not of the
war, but of Blighty. See how the London we

APPENDIX III 161

love, without knowing it, is worn away by the
faithful fingers of your fellow- citizens. Here
is another, of Canada this time, and another
of Australia, with a knot of students in slouch
hats. Here, beyond, is a Madonna, painted
on latrine canvas by a gunner artist. Beyond,
a rendezvous board, where you put your en-
velope which serves as a visiting-card, and
hope some other hero from Prangley-on-the-
Marsh will find it there and make an assignation
accordingly.

On the right there is a notice-board, which
is different in its outlook on life to the one
outside your orderly-room. Beyond, a stair-
case, and beyond that a gorgeous, framed
artist's proof of Wyllie's " Salient." Looking
straight through the hall you catch a glimpse
of a well-kept garden, where men bask, as in
St. James's Park, and a snug concert hall in a
hop-store lies out beyond. But the hall has
other doors. Here is a shop, which has a
** merry Christmas" atmosphere all the year
round, and a music-room beyond it, with an
irresistible old piano, not likely to be come by
honestly !

Now upstairs ! Quite homey this ! Carpets,
flowers, and pictures — not patriotic prints,
either. Lord ! what a library ! These people,

11

162 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

obviously, think we Ve got minds worth feeding,
as well as bodies and souls. Four thousand
books, and most of them presented by old
Talbotousians. Who were they? Look at
the photographs round the walls.

Writing-rooms, games-rooms, and, upstairs
again, billiards! English billiards, too — not
that foreign cannon-ball game. Who expected
to find English tables so near the line as this ?
Over there lie two lecture-rooms, with a large
class on housing reform and a smaller one on
French — one taken by an R.E. captain, the
other by an intelligence sergeant.

Excelsior ! once again ! A companion-ladder
this time, leading to a loft. Not likely to be
furnished ? Isn't it, though ? Here's a chapel,
full not only of exquisite simple majesty, but
of an atmosphere like nothing else we have
ever experienced in France. There's a young
Devon major (with an M.C. and bar) playing
the organ, and a few kneeling figures. Daily
evensong is not yet, but the chapel of St. Martin
"in the Field" is, like its prototype, never
without its worshippers.

Hence, during the whole three years, some
20,000 men communicants have gone not empty
away; and at Easter He has here been seen by
" above five hundred brethren at once, of whom

APPENDIX III ]63

the greater part remain unto the present, but
some are fallen asleep."

* «3«- * * *

What, then, is to happen to the fellowship
of Talbot House ? It is plainly too great to
lose. Its lovers have a dream of finding some
house — say in Duncannon Street — a difficult
task ; and the rent thereof, a task not less
difficult ; of hoisting the old sign-board there
and taking the consequences.

The one great fault I find, as a parson, with
London is that there aren't nearly enough
public-houses in the place. There are places
so-called, no doubt, but they are tied to one
tradition as well as to one brewery. The inn-
keepers are all too humble to approach you or
too proud to be approached. Where is the
bustling Boniface of literature? He is be-
dimmed by a guinea-pig directorate ; he is
dehumanised by the shadow of shares-cum-
dividends.

Our fancy leads us to a cosy house with a
good A. B.C. downstairs, and, upstairs, lecture-
rooms, library, games-rooms, and " grousing "-
rooms, together with a London Territorial
Lethe chamber, where warlike reminiscences
may merge wholly into imaginative art — in
short, a junior Cavendish Club, though not

164 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

quite so serious. Its membership (at 10s.
shall we say ?) would be the 4,000 already on
the Communicants' Roll of the old House
(of whom some 500 are in London), reinforced
from the Civil Service and Territorial world —
a class who, among the faithless, were surpris-
ingly faithful to Mother Church, in inverse
ratio, perhaps, to the care she has bestowed
upon them.

An inn without beds is like a song without
a chorus, therefore we must have a hostel in
our hostelry; for in London men are even
more homeless than they were in Flanders.
The only financial detail yet decided upon is
that, when the water-rate question becomes
acute, we are going to draw water in a dixie
from the fountains in the Square.

You see, we are practical prophets, and the
smallest detail is thus completely envisaged.

All this is not yet. First, there is a sentence
of six months' hard labour to run ; '* shades
of the prison-house begin to close" about
Talbot House and its dramatis personce — in
other words, the Service Candidates' School,
now opening in Knutsford Prison, is too great
a harvest to admit other sowing yet. Secondly,
there is the book on Talbot House to emerge,
and its sale will be a wise barometer to tap.

APPENDIX III 165

Meanwhile, will St. Martin cover the beggar
with its ample cloak, and seek God's will
concerning Talbot House in town ?

* ♦ * ♦ ♦

Since this article appeared in the spring, the
idea of reopening the old house in London has
gone far forward ; and in January, 1920, with
this purpose in view, Pettifer and I report
(with unexpired portion of rations) to O.C,
St. Martin's in the Fields. After that, we
begin to begin, which is all man ever does.
No doubt there are lions in the way less
benignant than Landseer's ; yet it is heartening
to remember that lions do not bar blind alleys.
So far no great patron has made us free of his
cheque-book, but St. Martin's has promised to
stand our godfather. One pitch already has
been both found and lost. Supported as the
house was by a bank and a cable company,
this double temptation to high crime is perhaps
well avoided. Other sites are in prospect^ and
it is at least plain that there is room enough
for the experiment we contemplate London
is too full of stinging-nettles for a dock-leaf to
spend time arguing its right to live.

P. B. C.

APPENDIX IV

SOME CONUNDRUMS FROM THE ROLL

It is plainly impossible to print here the
whole current address-book of some 3,500
Talbotousians. The most we can ask the
publishers to do is to give space for the list
of those on the roll whose Christmas cards
have been returned undelivered. It is as
follows :

Captain A. D. Aldred, R.E., Scaft worth. Yorks.
Corporal F. Barnes, 2a, Cross Street, Islington, N.
Lieutenant A. H. Borger, 54, Russell Street, Manchester.
Lieutenant F. H. Bourton, 1, Park View, Cheltenham.
Captain Frank Bramwell, 11th Garrison Oxford and

Bucks.
Lieutenant Bromley, Bentley Rectory, F'amham.
Private W. Brown, 58813, 71st Field Ambulance,

Lingfield, Surrey.
Lieutenant T. W. Burgee, 19th Cheshires (Labour

Company), B.E.F.
Pioneer H. S. Carfeu, 167402, The Cottage, Chorley,

Bolton.
Gunner W. Cassee, 154 N. Battery, Stevenage, St. Albans,

Herts.

16Q

APPENDIX IV 167

Lieutenant W. J. Charsley, l/6th West Yorks, 3, Pem-
berley Crescent, Bedford.

Lieutenant H. E. Crossley, K.L.R., 64, Arnold Avenue,
Liverpool.

Private G. F. Crowson, A.O.C., 39th Division.

Private P. Deverill, 194774, 70th Company, H.S.P.,
38th Division.

Lieutenant Dryman, 13,Charlemen Crescent, Edinburgh.

Second Lieutenant T. G. Dunkery, 2/6th Battalion Man-
chesters.

Sapper Forster, R.E. Signals.

Private Green, Birley Mount Villas, Birley, Canada.

Corporal A. T. Hardy, 31, West Cliff, W.F.T., Preston,
Lanes.

Corporal D. R. Johnson, R. 1512, l/17th T. F. Brigade,
Lanes,

Major C. Jones, R.A.M.C, 4th Stationary Hospital,
B.E.F.

Private G. Jones, 341680, R. A.M.C., 56th Field Ambu-
lance, B.E.F.

Second Lieutenant H. Knight, C Company, 12th Bat-
talion Royal Sussex.

Lance-Corporal S. H. Law, M.G.C., 12th West Yorks,
B.E.F.

Lieutenant Guy Laly, 7th D.C.L.I.

Lieutenant T. W. Martin, 1st Queen's Westminster Rifles.

Captain A. Macready, 3rd Canadian Infantry, Wage-
wich. Nova Scotia, Canada.

Second Lieutenant A. W. Metrall, 217 A.T., Coy. R.E.

Rifleman V. Modder, B Coy. Bombers, 8th Battalion
Rifle Brigade,

168 TALES OF TALBOT HOUSE

Private Munn, Oleander, Hulme, Cheshire, also Church
Farm, Corton, Lowestoft.

Drummer A. Naysmith, 20th Division Band, 20th D.H.Q.

Sapper S. R. Oliver, R.E. Signals, 118th Brigade.

Private H. A. Patience, 35652, 1st Border Regiment.

Second Lieutenant R. J. Payne, 2nd Hampshires, Alton.

Second Lieutenant T. Railton, 54, Arey Street, Liver-
pool.

Private A. Randall, R.A.M.C., 45th Field Ambulance.

Gunner T. Randall, attached 25th Division Trench
Mortars.

Lieutenant T. G. Reed, 15th Hants, attached 228th Field
Coy., R.E.

Second Lieutenant A. Relton, May bank, Brickhurst
Hill, Essex.

Lance-Corporal S. J. Richardson, 12th Platoon, D Coy.,
Yeo Street, Chester.

Lieutenant L. K. Robinson, 5th Yorks and Lanes.

Private K. L. Ross, 91, Boulevarde, Westmere, Notting-
ham.

Private P. G. Shields, M.G.C., Norfolks.

Corporal S. Lesinger, 9th Field Ambulance, Marston,
Doveridge, Derby.

Private J. C. Stebbing, 22, East Durrants, North Havant,
Hants.

Captain H. L. Stokes, Welsh Guards.

Private A. Summers, King's Warderbury, Hitchin, Herts,
or c/o Mrs. H. Street, 113, Barkston Gardens,
EarFs Court, S.W.

Corporal S. Symans, 10th Signal Coy., R.E., 8, Mutley
Plain, Plymouth, Devon.

APPENDIX IV 169

Captain A. W. Taylor, 5th K.O.Y.L.I., Junior Army
and Navy Club.

Captain A. Waters, 3rd Coldstream Guards.

Sapper S. V. Wright, D Coy., 8th Bedfords (? 4th Bed-
fords).

Corporal McFall, 47 Street, Marks Street, Montreal,
Canada.

Sergeant A. D. Kelly, attached 57th Coy., Canadian
Forestry Corps.

Sergeant C. N. Mayoss, 9th Canadian Field Ambulance.

Private A. D. Harvey, 3rd Battalion Toronto Regiment,
C.E.F.

Private J. Arkell, 7th Australian Field Ambulance.

100744 Private F. C. Beaver, attached 41st Canadian
Forestry Corps.

If readers of this book can help by putting
us in touch with any of these, or with other
old Talbotousians, the keeper of the Roll is
Lieutenant E. G. White (287, Milkwood
Road, Heme Hill, S.E. 24), who answers
letters with a paralysing promptitude. The
address of the poor old padre is Service
Candidates' School, Knutsford, Cheshire ; and
(after Christmas) c/o St. Martin's-in-the-
Fields, W.C. 2.

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His Masterpleoa.

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